Alexander
by DuchessMoonMoon13
Summary: Sarah Yancey and her four year old son have been rushed out of their home and into the protection of the Order of the Phoenix after a threat on their lives arises. Soon she'll have to face her former love and the father her son never knew, along with one jealous pink haired Auror. Rated for language. Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, but I wish I was. Then I'd own Harry Potter!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone. This is (sorta) a story I wrote years ago and then lost the account information to, so if you read Alexander by AuntManna, that was me. And I was a waaaay worse writer back then. I am changing a bit of the story concerning the main OC Sarah, because I used her back story to make Ivy in my story Starlight. She'll still be similar but not too much. Anyway- this is set in OoTP forward, and thanks to the lovely people who read it and told me it was worth bringing back, here it is. The first chapter is short, but its just a set up to the story. Enjoy!**

**Happy Reading!**  
><strong>~Duchess<strong>

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><p>Sirius Black sat quietly, watching the boy run around his kitchen playing with a muggle toy airplane and making noises as he navigated around chairs and people, his mother watching his every move like a hawk from behind her teacup. For whatever reason the boy seemed so familiar to Sirius, but he couldn't place him for certain and had no reason to make assumptions about a stranger and her child. The boy, Alexander his mother called him, was four years old. He had dark blonde hair, like sand on the beach when the tide goes out. He had a gaped grin, with slightly sharper canines and a mischievous glint in his grassy green eyes. He flew his airplane back around the room and made a screeching noise, crashing the toy into Sirius' shoulder.<p>

"They crashed into you, Mr. Black! You're the mountain!" Sirius laughed and the boy giggled, but his mother seemed less than happy with the collision, scolding him for hitting the man.

"Alex, please. Don't hit anyone." The woman, who introduced herself to Sirius, Molly, Arthur and the Weasley children as 'Sarah Yancey' was a young witch, about twenty seven if he had to make a guess. She was a very attractive woman, with long red hair and green eyes that mirrored her sons. She put him in mind of Lily just a bit, except she had freckles splashed across her nose and down her arms. When she smiled he saw that she too had elongated canines, which explained the boys teeth being sharper than the norm. Her eyes were not as bright, but Sirius could understand why. Dumbledore had brought them personally to Grimmauld early that morning with the claim their lives were in danger. They'd been rushed out without any belongings except the airplane and clothes they had on, Dumbledore insisting he'd send someone to gather anything else they'd need. Sirius would've hit on her several times by now if she hadn't been having such a hard day, or if there hadn't been a diamond ring on her left ring finger.

"He's fine, but please. It's just Sirius. Or if Alex would rather, he can call me Padfoot." Sirius said, giving the boy a pat on the head. Alex tilted his head and looked at the older wizard with a very quizzical look on his tiny face.

"Padfoot is a weird name." he said, matter-of-factly. "But I like it."

Sirius laughed. "You want to see why people call me that?" he asked, standing up from his chair and bending to the boy's level. Alex looked to his mother who gave him a reassuring smile, so he nodded. Sirius jumped and landed on the ground as a great black dog, who licked the boys face as he giggled and squealed.

"I can do that too!" he shouted repeating the motion he'd just seen the other wizard do, landing as a pale grey wolf pup and running around Padfoot's feet wagging his tiny tail wildly. He nipped at the other canine and then turned back into his normal self and beamed proudly. Sirius stood up into a human himself, his face locked in shock. He knew why the little boy looked so familiar.

"Blimey! And here I thought I was going to really show you a trick." Sirius said quietly, sitting back down. Sarah picked up on surprise that her son had just caused to their host.

"Alex, won't you go see if you can find Fred and George again, hmm?" she said, scooping him up and putting him down just outside the kitchen doorway, giving his bum a swat as he darted off toward the staircase. She turned around and smiled awkwardly, sitting back to the table. She was thankful Molly and the older children were all busy in different parts of the house, because she was dreading the conversation she was inevitably about to have.

"I- er." Sirius sputtered, not sure how to begin. "He's a lycan. Merlin, I didn't see that coming. Not that I mind, I-" Sarah put a hand up and smiled.

"Sirius, its okay. I promise you." She looked back to her tea and took a deep sip. "And just for the sake of not shocking you more than we have to, I am also. My father is one of the oh-so rare muggle werewolves. My mum was a witch though." Sirius nodded along, mind racing as he took in all the information she was giving him. This wasn't adding up if what he thought was true. Surely his best friend wouldn't keep something like this from him. There was no way. Sirius was sure he wouldn't walk out on a child. And he wouldn't just not tell Sirius if he knew, right?

"But then- So did you pass it down to him or...?" He asked, knowing he was being too nosy, but trying to prove himself wrong by asking. He didn't know how to react to this situation.

"No, his father is also a werewolf." she said it quietly, not looking back toward the man. "But you knew that, didn't you?" She nibbled at her lower lip nervously. Sirius stared at the witch blankly for a few moments. He shook his head like he was clearing away fog. "Sirius, it's okay. You can ask, I know you want to."

Sirius looked up, his face still pale. "He's Remus' son, isn't he?"

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><p><strong>Be sure to review! I hope this is better than the last time. I couldn't just leave it unfinished, so I'm so thankful to those who read it and gave me the courage to bring it back. Hugs!<br>**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: Hello! Thank you for taking the time to read my story. This is chapter two, and is much longer than the first. It has a cliffhanger at the end, drama in the middle, and I hope you enjoy reading it. Be sure to leave a review! Huge thanks to those following, favorited, adn already reviewed. Love you guys!  
>Happy Reading!<br>~DMM13**

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><p>Sarah didn't look up, and had Sirius not been watching carefully, he would've missed her nod. Her hair fell around her face and her shoulders shook as she started to cry. Sirius wasn't sure what to do, he stayed sitting in the same stunned stupor as she buried her face in her hands. Women and their tears were never a strong suit for Sirius, so he was lost on what he should do now. He stood awkwardly for a moment, then laid a hand on her shoulder.<p>

"Does he know?" he whispered, looking past her to the table top. She shook her head roughly.

"No, he left me before I even knew about Alex myself." She sniffed hard, wiping her face. She looked up to Sirius' face and his heart broke for her. She looked fragile, scared, so alone. He pulled the chair next to her out and sat down, taking one of her hands in his.

"He- He left you?" Sirius spoke softly. "Why?" He immediately regretted the question, but Sarah ignored him anyway. She started to cry again and looked back into his eyes.

"Have you- Have you heard from him recently? Is he okay?" The shock left Sirius body, and was quickly replaced by anger. This woman had been raising a child alone for four years with a broken heart, and she wanted to know if Remus was okay. Sirius tightened his hand into a fist against the table.

"He was here this morning, left about thirty minutes before you got here. He's fine. And will be until I see him." Sarah looked at him with concern.

"Why?" she asked quietly.

"He just abandoned you. Both of you. I'll kill him." Sarah shook her head again, giving a slight hiccup as she tried to calm down.

"Why do you care?" Again, she was shaking her head, looking him in the eye.

"Because neither of you deserve this. And because I thought he was a better man than that." He put his hand over hers, realizing just how tiny her hands were. Sarah shrugged.

"Me too" she whispered, mostly to herself. "So I'm stuck here and at some point, he'll be here too?" Sirius nodded sadly.

"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry. I don't know when that will be, but he'll be back today. But on a brighter note the Aurors they're sending to your house are about to go. Dumbledore said they'd run by on their lunch break." Sarah smiled at the man.

"Will they get my cat too, do you think?" Sirius nodded.

"I'd say so." He said, turned around where they heard Alex's small feet padding back into the room. The little boy stopped and looked at his mother with a face of deep concern.

"Mummy! Why is you crying? Why is you sad?" Sarah bit her lip trying to think of how to answer her son. Her sweet, smart, perfect son. He'd never asked before if he had a father, but Sarah always dreaded the day when he would. Now maybe that day didn't have to come, not if he was about to meet him. She wasn't ready for this, and she couldn't run away. Sirius picked his hand up off Sarah's as Alex climbed into her lap, and he looked hard at the ring on her finger.

"Because we forgot Moonpie!" Sarah lied with a smile to hide her pain from her son. Alex tilted his head and grinned, throwing his little arms tightly around his mother's neck.

"Don't be sad Mummy, Moonpie is a smart kitty. He just sit in the window and waiting like he does always. He won't be angry with you. He understand." Sarah laughed at the care her son was putting into comforting her. Moonpie was in all reality probably very upset, as he didn't take kindly to being left without feeding and Sarah hadn't had the chance to put out his breakfast before they evacuated their home, leaving the black and white tuxedo cat alone. He was Sarah's cat first, but since the day he met Alex when he was four days old, the two were inseparable. Sarah put Alex down onto the floor and he ran back out of the room.

"He's a sweet kid" Sirius remarked. Sarah nodded.

"He's the best. Just so full of bottled up puppy energy. Bless him." She laughed. "Poor Moonpie hides when he's had enough, usually on top of the cold cabinet."

Sirius looked hard at the witch, and ventured a bit braver of a question. "So, how did you even meet Remus anyway? And why do you still wear that?" Sirius pointed to the ring, which she then slid off and put into her jacket pocket. Sarah looked at him with a sad smile.

"I'm a librarian at a Muggle public library, and I was going through and shutting the place down one night. I was the last one there, or so I thought. Found him in a back room reading. He apologized for being there so late and insisted on buying me dinner, and it just went from there." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "And I still wore that because part of me always wanted him to come home. This is different. He's going about his day thinking nothing of me, not knowing about Alex, and here we'll be and I don't know what will happen, but I know that it won't have been his choice to come back, for us to be in the same room." Sirius wanted to cry with her. He always wanted someone like this woman for Remus. He, James and Lily often tried to set him up on dates but he never accepted. He'd pushed this one away too.

"He didn't even leave a reason. He left a note that said "I'm sorry, I'll always love you." on his pillow, but that was all. He didn't take much either." She pulled her arms up and wrapped around herself. "I don't want to do this. I'm not ready to do this." Sirius was about to say something when there was a crash and loud 'oof' from the landing near the front door.

"Whoops! Sorry Mister I was after a bug. Did you see it- Oh there!" Alexander's feet could be heard running down the hallway.

"That's alright, just be careful. This house is tricky." Sarah closed her eyes. Sirius looked panicked, having no way to stop what was coming.

"Pads- there's a kid here running down a bug. Who-" Remus Lupin stopped in his tracks as he walked into the kitchen and saw Sarah sitting at the table. She stood up and looked as if she might say something. She tried to move, but it felt like the oxygen had left the room. Everything seemed to get dark and Sarah felt to the ground with a soft 'thud.'

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><p>When Sarah came to, she was laying on the couch in the study she'd sent Alex to play in earlier that day when they'd first arrived. She didn't open her eyes at first, she wasn't ready to face reality yet. She felt a hand rubbing over her hair, and a cool cloth across her brow. Sarah supposed it was probably Molly Weasley. The woman was more motherly than any Sarah had ever met. She laid still and listened to the sounds of the large house around her, and she could hear Alex squealing with what sounded like Sirius in a room down the hall and silently she thanked him. The man didn't know her from anyone on the street, yet he'd been more than accommodating and understanding. Sarah wanted to doze back off, hide behind her eyelids until she knew Remus was gone. She felt the hand that was stroking her hair brush against the skin on her forehead and she jumped. It was defiantly not Molly. She slapped the had away as she sat up and scooted as far from the person perched on the edge of the couch as possible.<p>

"Why are you touching me?" she blurted, knowing full well how she sounded. Remus looked offended.

"You passed out, I was worried about you." he offered as an excuse, and Sarah felt the need to punch him square in the nose but resisted. He looked the same as last she saw him for the most part, save a new scar under his left eye and a strand or two more grey to his hair. Her heart felt ripped in two. She'd missed him, and seeing him now she felt angry, but she knew she still loved him and it made her sick. His eyes swam full with sadness and hurt, but only added fuel to the fire burning in Sarah.

"For all you knew, I could've been dead. You have no right to be concerned now." she spat her words with as much venom as she could muster. She wouldn't cry, not in front of him. He didn't deserve it.

"Sarah- I'm sorry, okay. Please give me a moment. I know you've already got on with your life-"

"You know nothing!" she screamed, scooting even further away, pressing herself back into the couch to get away. "Nothing at all." Sarah swallowed against the taste of bile in her throat. "Where is MY son?" she emphasized.

"Sirius took him, rather insistently, into the drawing room. He's charmed that toy airplane to fly. Won't let me in there." Sarah smiled in a rather bitter way.

"Good, you have no reason to be." She hated herself for this. Somehow, no matter how harshly, she knew fate was giving Alexander the chance to know his father and her heartache was in the way. For the moment, she didn't care. Remus looked at his feet, visibly broken by her words.

"Don't I?" he whispered to the floor. Sarah saw red, she dug her hands into the fabric of the couch and felt it give under her nails, which were rapidly growing out from her anger. He didn't look up, but he spoke a bit louder. "I didn't know. I wouldn't have-"

"I don't care." she said coldly. "I don't care, I don't want to hear your 'would've, should've, could've" I spent the first two years wondering. Hoping. You never looked back. You never wrote. I looked for you, wrote to you. You never turned up. If we hadn't been brought here, you wouldn't know now. So have your shit Remus, I'm not listening." She blinked hard, but wasn't able to keep the tears from falling silently down her face.

"What is his name?" Remus ventured quietly, still not looking over at her. "I know, I don't deserve to know." Sarah nodded.

"You're right, you don't." She very much considered not telling him a thing. Asking Sirius to help her hide in the room that she and Alex would be staying in. She was staring hard ahead of her, not paying attention to the man next to her, then she heard something that made her regret not looking over sooner. Alex was tugging on Remus sleeve, looking at him with the same curious look he did whenever he encountered anything new.

"Mister, my name? You want to know my name?" he asked. Sirius was braced against the door, a look of sheer terror across his face. He was panting, and it was obvious that Alex had slipped away from him and came to the room before he could catch him. Sarah looked at Sirius and he knew that of looks could kill he'd be dust by now. Remus looked from the boy to his mother in panic, not sure what to say or do.

"He can tell you if he wants" Sarah said, looking at Alex with a smile. "It is his after all." Alex grinned and took a step back, offering his tiny hand to the man in front of him.

"Alexander Carlisle Lupin, pleases to meet you." Alex said, grinning widely. He loved his full name, and loved to tell it to new people. Remus hesitated, his hand visibly shaking, but he gave the boy a quick handshake.

"Remus" he replied shortly. He didn't dare give his full name, not now. "It's a pleasure. You have wonderful manners." Alex nodded.

"I know." he said, grinning. He turned to his mother. "Mummy, I very thirt-sty." Sarah looked up toward Sirius who shrugged.

"Thirsty" she corrected gently. "Alright" she stood and took the boy's hand in her own. "Let's go get juice." She didn't so much as glace at Remus as they walked by, and she gestured to Sirius as they walked through the doorway. Sirius gave her a nod and took her place in the room as they walked out. Sirius sat down next to his best friend and looked him over.

"Tell me" Sirius started, clinching his fists hard at his side "That you didn't know. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn't abandon him on purpose, I'll believe you." Remus looked up and Sirius could see the pain in his eyes.

"I didn't know." he said, his voice hoarse from unshed tears. "I really, really didn't." Sirius couldn't make the rage leave. He couldn't explain why he was so defensive of a witch he'd just met, or her son. He stood and walked to the window, back to his friend.

"Why'd you leave her?" he asked, still holding his hands in fists. He could feel the skin giving way under his nails he'd been pressing tightly into his palms.

"Because I had to" Remus replied, still hoarse. The answer wasn't good enough for Sirius, and he had to do something. He hauled back and punched, leaving a hole in the study wall.

"You HAD to?" he turned around, murderous look in his eyes. "Don't give me that bloody nonsense. You're a fucking coward." Remus flinched as Sirius got closer. He didn't hit him, he simply flopped down on the couch and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "You left a wonderful woman alone with an absolutely fantastic child. You sat in here with me and we talked about Harry without his father, and you left your son without his. You ALWAYS run." Sirius sat up and walked toward the door. "I can't look at you anymore." he said, leaving Remus alone to his thoughts.

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><p>Alexander was sitting at the table, watching the witch across from him swing as he swung his feet. He'd been given crisps and a cup of juice, and told to sit with Nymphadora while Kingsley talked to Sirius and his mother. Tonks had brought Moonpie to Alex, and this instantly won her his favor. She was changing her nose and hair to various things trying to make him giggle while just on the other side of the door, his mother was getting a bit more information on her situation.<p>

"As far as we can tell" Kingsley was saying "Greyback wants the boy to get to Remus. How he knew about Alex when Remus didn't even know is beyond me. Remus is highly skilled, very educated. He'd be an invaluable asset to Greyback's pack. Until further notice, you'll have to stay here. We told the library you had a family crisis, they said for you to take all the time you need and your job will be there, even if they have to hire a temp." Sarah nodded along with him, taking it all in. "We packed up your clothes, your sons toys, a few other things we thought you'd need. Molly is setting you a room up now." he told her.

"Thank you" she was able to squeak, trying not to cry again.

"No trouble Miss Yancey" he gave her a quick bow, gave a nod to Sirius and walked off and out the door. Sarah turned to Sirius.

"What do I do now?" she asked, and Sirius shook his head.

"I'm not sure." he said, gesturing her ahead of him as they re-entered the kitchen. Alex was squealing with delight as Tonks turned her nose to a pig snout, her hair a pale piggish pink. Sirius winced as he watched Tonks with Alex, and it made Sarah nervous.

"Tonks" Sirius said, making the girl stop and look. She walked over and stood close to Sirius, whispering something into his ear. He shot her a wary look and whispered something back, sending the girl skipping off. Sarah tried to shake the feeling the exchange had something to do with her. She looked down where Moonpie was making a figure eight around her feet.

"Sirius, can I feed his beast something?" she asked, scratching the feline behind his ears. Sirius nodded and stepped over, retrieving a can of tuna from the cupboard, opening it with his wand and placing it on the floor. Moonpie trotted over and gave Sirius' hand a lick and set into the food offered to him. "You just made a friend for life" she said, watching the cat devour the canned fish.

Sirius looked from Alex to Sarah and back again and stepped closer to where Sarah was standing. "I need to tell you something." he said, looking more upset than he had all day. "About Nymphadora, my cousin. The girl that was just here." Sarah nodded, raising an eyebrow.

"Alright" she said, leaning forward for Sirius to speak into her ear.

"This is going to hurt-" he said, preparing himself for the conversation.


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy Reading!  
>~Duchess<strong>

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><p>Tonks walked gingerly into the study where Remus was still sitting on the couch staring at the hole Sirius had punched into the wall. Tonks cringed, seeing how he looked defeated, limbs hanging limp at his sides. He was facing away from the young Auror, so she tried to be quiet as she approached the wizard.<p>

"Remus- do you want to talk about it?" she spoke softly, and he barely seemed to notice her. "Remus?" She reached out carefully and laid a hand on his shoulder. He jumped anyway, even with her announcing her presence. She jerked her hand back and waited, and he sort of grunted in reply. Tonks sat gently on the edge of the cushion next to him and waited. He blinked several times and shook his head, like he was waking up from a bad dream.

"I don't really know what to do now." He said quietly finally facing her. She gave him a gentle smile and he leaned back into the couch, looking at the ceiling. "I can't just fall at her feet and beg for the right to be in his life. She's right, I never tried to go back to her." Tonks felt the sadness in his words pang at her heart.

"Why?" she asked quietly, watching him carefully.

"Because, I thought this way she'd be safe. I thought- I thought she'd move on. Thought she'd be happier. I didn't know we- had a child." He squeezed his eyes shut tight and Tonks watched a tear slide down his cheek.

"She seems really sweet though, just like everything you told me. I just refuse to believe she won't give you a chance. She has a picture of you two as a bookmark in a novel by her bed. And the way you've talked about her to me- you can't just give up." Tonks looked at her feet and waited. Since the first few meetings of the Order, she and Remus had become good friends, often going for drinks after meetings. Sirius and many of the others thought they were picking up a bit of a romance, but it was more of a friendship of understanding. Both of them had been a bit outcasted for appearances, and Remus found he could tell Tonks about Sarah without the judgement he knew would come from Sirius. Tonks too had lost love when her long-time boyfriend left the country to study dragons and broke up with her because it would be 'too complicated' to keep a long distance love up.

"I really don't think she wants me in either of their lives." he whispered quietly. Tonks shook her head.

"No, you told me if you thought there was any way you thought you could, you'd go find her. As you said, you didn't know. Make her listen, tell her why you left. She may not fall into your arms, but at least you can know your son." She stood up and started toward the door. "Just- think about it. It'll take time, her heart is probably shattered. But judging by the tan line on her left hand, you've got her heart. You just need her ear." Tonks gave a quick smile of encouragement and left. Remus sat back. He'd noticed the line around her left ring finger also, where the skin was much lighter from where a ring- his ring had sat for years. Down stairs he heard his son squeal with delight at something and he too smiled. Maybe Tonks was right.

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><p>Sarah sat quietly listening to everything Sirius had to say. According to him, Remus had been going out after meeting with this young Auror for a couple months now, and though he couldn't prove anything he was pretty sure they weren't just friends. Even though she hadn't seen him in close to five years, she couldn't help but feel cheated on.<p>

"I'm really sorry," Sirius said, looking down. "I have been pushing them together more than anyone. I really-" Sirius stopped talking when Tonks walked in and and smiled widely at her cousin.

"You really have the wrong idea, actually." Tonks said, looked at him with a stern expression. "May I speak to Miss Yancey alone for a mo? Got just a few things to chat about." Sirius looked to Sarah, who looked a bit frightened but nodded, and he slowly left the room. Tonks took a seat across the table from Sarah, much like she would in an interrogation at work. "Wotcher" she said with a grin, which Sarah reluctantly returned.

"Thank you for going to our home for us" Sarah said quietly. Tonks nodded and shrugged.

"Wasn't a big deal, don't worry on it. I just- I wanted to straighten out what Sirius told you before his favorite little rumor comes back to you from someone else in the Order. We're not, Remus and I that is, we aren't dating." Sarah shrugged.

"It wouldn't matter if you were" she said, making an attempt to hide the bitterness in her voice. Tonks smiled through it, knowing it wasn't really for her.

"Look- You don't know me, and I don't know you. But I feel like I do. I'm going to be way out of line, but you need to let him talk. We do go out, and we talk. Mostly about you. Merlin knows that he adores you." Sarah made a face and attempted to say something, but Tonks ignored her. "No, I'm not done. He messed up, but really. He loves you so much. It's not my place to tell you, but he really thought leaving was for the best, and he really wants to know that little boy." Sarah's eyes grew dark and she bit her jaw at the anger she felt creeping over her. The taste of blood filled her mouth. Tonks sat back into her chair a bit, but kept on with her speech.

"I know, you want to rip my throat out. Your life is being twisted way out of order and you don't have control. And your son is involved, which makes it worse. I'm just saying that maybe if you gave him a chance at the very least Alex will have his dad." Sarah took several deep breaths as Tonks concluded and said nothing. She watched the pink haired witch before her carefully and Tonks smiled again.

"Alright" Sarah said finally, giving a small nod. "I'll listen to what he has to say, and then if its half valid _then_ I'll tell Alex." Tonks' face lit up and she stood up from the table.

"Have a good night, Sarah." Tonks called over her shoulder as she walked toward the door. Sirius peaked in the kitchen door a moment later, Alex on his hip. The tiny boy gave a large yawn. He'd missed his nap and was starting to wear down.

"Alright love?" Sirius asked, handing Alex over. Alex wrapped his arms tightly around his mother's neck. Sarah nodded and gave a small smile.

"Fine. Just going to take my Pup here for a nap. Make sure he doesn't leave?" Sarah gestured toward the stairs and at first Sirius appeared to be very confused, then gave a nod.

"Sure. Alright." he said, darting up the stairs to the study.

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><p>Alex fell asleep surprisingly easy to be in a new place, but Sarah figured it was from having a busy morning. Sarah took several deep breaths and washed her face to clear away the red patches before walked to the study on the floor below. She found Sirius staring Remus down in horribly uncomfortable silence. Sarah sat down in the chair next to Sirius, nodding him toward the door. Sirius stood at the door for a moment and cut his eyes at his best friend before walking away. When Sarah heard his steps fade up the stairs she turned a bit and looked her former lover over more carefully than she'd bothered to before. He hadn't shaved in several days and his eyes bagged with the lack of sleep. The clothes he wore now were a few sizes too big and worn, bearing more than one patch and restitching sight. Her heart broke for him.<p>

"You may explain yourself- once. I will let you finish, I will ask any questions that I have, then AND ONLY THEN will I decide if you can meet your son. Properly I mean." Sarah tried her best to keep calm. Remus nodded sheepishly and said something that sounded like 'thank you' but was too hushed and broken. He took a moment to recompose himself and took several deep breaths.

"I don't really know how to start. I guess the best way to tell you is that I left for the same reason you're here now. Greyback made threats, came down to the docks in the middle of the day with all the muggles I worked with and told me he'd take you. As in _take _you for his own if I didn't cooperate. So I went, I did what he wanted and I taught the kids he'd stolen and changed to read- I was there over a year. By then I thought you'd never want to see me again. I was homeless for a bit anyway, then Dumbledore found me and I worked at the school. Time just kept slipping on and I hoped- as much as it would kill me- that you'd found someone else and were happy. I never dreamed that it would've turned out like this. If I'd know about him I would've taken you both and ran. Anywhere. America, France, somewhere we'd all have more rights. I can't apologize enough, but I am sorry. I am so so sorry. I lost so much with him and I can't imagine what you've been through alone. But I am sorry." He looked down, obviously ashamed of the story he'd just told. Sarah watched tears drip from his face and land on the floor, and she felt her own flowing down her face. She bit her lip for a moment, thinking of what to say.

"Why couldn't you come home?" She wiped her face on her sleeve and tilted her head, waiting for his response.

"I had lived in a camp in Ireland for over a year, was sick, homeless and unemployed. Like I said I hoped you'd moved on." He watched her blink away her own tears as he spoke, longing to wipe them away.

"You really thought I'd get over you that easy?" She sounded offended. He gave her a shrug.

"I told you, I hoped." His voice was a bit bitter now.

"Did I mean that little to you, then? I mean your reason for leaving, while it doesn't hurt less, is acceptable. But not coming home? Sick, unemployed? Doesn't matter. I'd have taken care of you. Homeless seems rather obvious. You could've come_ home_." She cried a bit harder as she spoke.

"You meant everything to me. _Everything_. I wanted better for you. I didn't know _this_ is what would happen." He leaned back into the couch and put a hand across his eyes, ribbing them with his pointer finger and thumb.

"He's wonderful, by the way. Thank you for him." Sarah said, giving a small proud smile.

"You gave him my name." Remus said, matter-of-factly.

"He is your son." She replied, mimicking his tone.

"No, I mean- thank you? I just don't think I deserved that." Sarah bit her lip and nodded.

"Yes, well it was a name I wanted and since I didn't get it... It was the best I could do." She gave him another sad smile and stood up. "Are you ready then?" she said, shrugging her shoulders.

"You're going to let me meet him?" Remus asked, giving a smile that Sarah felt her knees go weak to, even if he was a mess.

"I'll go see if he's awake." She said, walking through the door.

Remus adjusted in his seat, wiping his hands on his pants nervously. He stood, walked to the window, then back to the couch and sat down. He didn't know what to say. Even if the boy was only four, he deserved a good explanation. Remus heard the tiny boy talking and his feet thumping down the steps and his heart stopped beating. He was about to be introduced to the boy as his father, and he was terrified.

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Yeah, from my description you were probably expecting Tonks to be a jealous girlfriend that gets left, right? No. She's jealous, but of different things. I hope you're enjoying my story! Thank you to those who are following, favorited, and have left reviews. Reviews are super helpful, so be sure to let me know what you think! Thank you to EVERYONE who is reading!<br>Hugs!  
>~DMM<br>**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Hello! Thanks for following, favoriting, reviewing and reading! If anyone has any suggestions, they're welcome! Be sure to review! Hope you enjoy this chapter!  
>Happy Reading!<br>~Duchess**

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><p>Alexander skipped in happily in front of his mother, and sat down with a <em>plop<em> in a chair across from Remus. Sarah picked him up from the chair and sat herself back down in it, holding the boy in her lap. She looked almost as nervous as Remus felt, and Alex looked oblivious to it all. "Alex," Sarah started, turning his small face to look at her own. "I have a few questions to ask you, then I have to tell you something. It's all very important. Alright?" Alexander nodded, trying to hold his face serious.

"Yes Mummy." Alex chirped. He'd obviously had a wonderful nap.

"Alright. Can you tell me something, just so I know you understand? Why is it I can shift into a wolf, and why do I look like I do?" Sarah asked gently.

"Because of Grandad. He's a werewoof." Alex said, looking like his mother was crazy for asking.

"Were_wolf" _she corrected gently. "Very good. Why can you?" Alex titled his head, his wild blond hair falling into his eyes. Sarah brushed it back.

"Because- you can?" He ventured. Sarah shook her head. Remus suddenly realized where this conversation was going and he held his breath.

"No, but that was a very good guess. You- very much like me, can because it's something you got from your father." Alex looked very sad all of a sudden, and Remus' heart sank. "Do you understand what I'm telling you baby?" Alex shook his head, looking down.

"No, Mummy. I don't have one." The boy said quietly, in a very heartbroken little voice. Remus felt a tear move down his cheek. Sarah looked over to him and then back to Alex. "Georgie said I don't have one." Sarah looked like she had a bitter taste in her mouth. Georgie was Alex's friend from his preschool class. The boy was also a young wizard, but a bratty one. He often told Alex things like there was no Father Christmas, which was something Sarah could convince him that Georgie was wrong about. She was about to prove Georgie wrong again.

"Everyone has a father, sweetie." She said, starting to rock him. "Sometimes they're just somewhere else. Understand?" Alex nodded a little.

"Why is mine somewhere else?" Alex asked, pulling away to look at his mother. "Did he not want me?" Remus covered his mouth to stifle a sob, but Alex peaked and gave him a confused look. Sarah turned him back to her a bit forcefully.

"No. That's not the problem. I'm not sure I'm the best one to explain that to you." Sarah stood up with Alex firmly in place on her hip. She moved over to where Remus was and sat down, turning Alex around. She didn't say anything more, just waited patiently for Remus to take over.

Alex- er- I have to tell you something." Remus said, stammering quite a bit.

"Mister, why is you sad?" Alex interrupted, looking at the man with concern. Remus looked at Sarah in a small amount of panic.

"He hates when people cry, he wants everyone happy." She told him, nodding toward her son with a proud look. Alex nodded hard.

"I'm sad because I made a bad mistake about five years ago." Alex tilted his head again and waited. Remus took a deep breath. "I'm- I'm your father, Alex." The boy pulled himself back and leaned hard into his mother. He looked shocked and confused. He didn't look up at Sarah, but he called out for her and she confirmed what Remus had just told him. He stared hard at Remus for at least ten minutes, in near perfect silence. Then he sat forward, squinting.

"That why you and me look the same?" He asked, looking Remus over. He nodded. "Why you not been with me and Mummy then? Georgie said people that have both parents know them. That's why he say I not have a dad. I not know you." Pure pain showed over Remus' face, like he'd been slapped.

"Someone wanted to hurt your Mum, and I had to keep her safe." he said quietly, trying not to cry again. Alex looked at him hard, his expression more serious than Remus knew someone Alex's age could manage.

"That is why we here too, Padfoot says." Alex looked a bit more relaxed. Remus nodded.

"The same man, actually." Remus told the boy. Alex pulled away, noticed his mother had tears in her eyes. He hugged tight again.

"You gonna keep her safe now too, Mister?" Alex asked, taking Remus back. He wasn't expecting the four year old to be this smart.

"Both of you. No matter what." he said quietly. Alex nodded again.

"What is I supposed to call you, then? You not tell me all your name." Alex looked confused again. Sarah shook her head when Remus looked to her for an answer.

"Its Remus John Lupin, Lupin like yours. You can call me Remus, if you want. I can understand you not wanting to call me 'Dad'." Alex didn't say anything to this, he just furrowed his tiny brow and looked at the floor as if it may run away if he blinked. After a moment, he looked back up.

"What if I want to?" he asked, looked a bit shy.

"Want to what?" Remus asked, swallowing hard.

"Call you Dad. You are my Dad, I always wanted one." Alex waited as Remus closed his eyes and tears slid down his cheeks. Sarah bit her lip and waited.

"I think that would make me happier than anything else ever has," Remus said finally "but you don't have to. Your choice."

"I want to, if is okay." Alex said, crawling down from his mother's lap onto the cushion between Remus and Sarah. "But only if you not go away again."

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><p>A week passed with little incident. Sarah allowed Alex to stay with Remus when he was around and talk or play, for them to try and build a relationship. She did however, refuse to talk to Remus about their own relationship. It would be wrong to keep Alex from having a father just because her own heart was broken, so she stood back and let them get to know each other. She often sat and thought, wondered really, if they could be together again. He seemed honest with her when he said he just wanted her happiness, and had wanted a better life for her. She wondered if he wanted her back- wondered but never asked.<p>

Sarah sat up in the library cataloging the books for Sirius one evening, missing work. The family home had several old and rare books, many which were highly restricted texts on dark magic. She'd taken all of them from the shelves and began labeling them, library style, and putting them back onto the shelves in a more orderly fashion. She had been working quietly for a couple of hours when a young girl came in, with bushy brown hair and an annoyed expression.

"Oh, I'm sorry" the girl said, coming into the room in a huff. "I was just looking to get away from Fred and George, Sirius told me he had a library up here. I'm Hermione." she said, holding a hand out to Sarah.

"Sarah" she returned, turning back to her work. "I've been told about you. Sirius told me we'd probably get along. Though I've found the twins to be very good babysitters, if not a bit flirty. I'm just- fixing this up. I'm a librarian by trade, and since I'm currently stuck here, this is what is getting me through. Feel free to find a book, but tell me which one you have so I might leave a place for it." Hermione smiled and nodded, sitting down next to Sarah and reading the spines of the books in the high piles. She found one and opened it in her lap, not moving from her place on the floor.

Sirius came in after a few moments, walking carefully around the tall stacks of books. "Sarah," Sirius said, wobbling a bit trying to come into the room. "I hardly see how this is better." Sarah glared at him. "Easy Gorgeous, I know it's in progress. Alex is hungry, and we know it's close to dinner so Remus wanted me to ask you if he might have a snack." Sarah looked at Sirius with obvious annoyance.

"He can't decide that?" Sarah asked, placing a label on a thick green book. Sirius shrugged.

"Are dads ever good at knowing these things?" Sirius asked. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Small snack. No sweets." she said, shooing Sirius out. Hermione looked up, obviously confused. She opened her mouth like she may ask Sarah something, but decided against it and looked back down.

"Yes dear?" Sarah said, looking at Hermione. Hermione shook her head.

"I just didn't know Professor Lupin had a son, that's all." she said quietly. Sarah couldn't help but laugh.

"Until earlier this week, neither did he." She laughed again, feeling rather ridiculous about it all. Hermione's eyes widened a bit, but she looked back down.

"Oh." she said quietly.

"Long story." Sarah said back, standing and placing her first completed stack onto the shelves. Hermione nodded and bit her lip. Sarah smiled. "Oh, you are like me. It's killing you not to ask a hundred questions." Hermione blushed and Sarah laughed. "Ask, I won't be offended. Trust me." Hermione looked up.

"Its just- That's- What?" she said, confused.

"We were engaged, years ago. He left before he ever knew I was pregnant. I didn't see him again until Dumbledore brought us here." Sarah said, keeping her voice emotionless. "He and Alex are just getting to know each other, I'm staying out of their way." Sarah said, and Hermione didn't miss the sadness in the older witch's voice. Hermione nodded again.

"How could you tell I wanted to know?" Hermione asked shyly, blushing again. Sarah smiled.

"Sirius told me you'd be joining us. He and Remus both told me you and I were very similar. That's all I needed to know. I'm guilty of being a bit nosy sometimes too. No shame there. Also it's not a secret- everyone in the Order already knows about it. They're all on eggshells about it, really. Heaven knows why." Hermione nodded again. She returned to her book and Sarah placed another stack onto the shelves. Alex came bounding in a moment later and slammed into her legs.

"Alexander" she said sternly, "Why are you running with your mouth full?" Alex chewed quickly and swallowed hard, clearing his mouth.

"Missed you." he said simply. Sarah quirked an eyebrow and noticed Hermione looking at her son with a smile.

"Ah," she said. "Want to meet my new friend?" she asked, bending down to his level. Alex nodded. "Alex, this is Hermione." She gestured to the girl, who gave a friendly wave. Alex smiled.

"Hello!" Alex squealed. Sarah looked at him for a moment.

"What snack did your father give you?" she asked, watching him bounce around her feet.

"A cake" he said shyly, knowing he'd done wrong. "Just a little one." Sarah looked a bit put off, and took his hand, pulling him along.

"If you'll excuse us, Hermione." she said. Alex waved again as they exited the room.

Sarah pulled Alex back down the stairs and into the kitchen where Remus and Sirius were still sitting with a wizard's chess set, Molly Weasley working at the stove. She cut her eyes at the two men. Alex hid a bit behind her leg.

"Which one of you is the reason Alex cannot have dessert?" She asked, looked at each of them. Remus looked at her confused and Sirius smirked. "Ah." Sarah said. She turned to Alex. "Are you supposed to have sweets before supper, Alexander?" she asked. The boy shook his head.

"Sorry Mummy" he whispered, looking ashamed. Sarah ruffled his hair.

"You." she pointed to Sirius. "You're trying to get the whole house into trouble." Sirius shrugged.

"Nah, just gave him what I thought would be a good snack. Mostly because I like your angry face." He gave Sarah a wink and Remus kicked him under the table and caused him to yelp. "What?" he said, looking at his friend with his most innocent expression.

Sarah rolled her eyes and walked back out, Alex on her heels. Molly continued to work, laughing at their whole interaction. Remus looked at Sirius, obviously angry. Sirius shrugged at him. "What's eating you, Moony?" he asked. He commanded his knight to move. Remus huffed at him.

"Don't flirt with her." he growled. Sirius sat back.

"It's harmless. I promise." Sirius tried to defend himself. Remus didn't seem to agree.

"It's not. Don't do it." He warned, and Sirius let the humor fall from his face. He murmured an apology and waited for Remus to move his piece. Remus' bishop overtook a pawn with a loud crack.

"You going to try and talk to her too or-" Sirius asked after a moment, watching his best friend carefully. Remus shrugged.

"She doesn't want me anymore." he said sadly. Molly turned from the stove.

"Remus Lupin, you really don't believe that, do you?" she asked, in a scolding voice. Both younger wizards looked at her in surprise.

"I have no reason to believe otherwise." he said simply. Molly slapped an oven mitt down hard.

"You could always ask her for her own feelings. Seems to me, while it isn't my business, that you not finding out where she stood is how you missed the first four years of Alex's life. Now- you can either loose more time with her or you can go up there and tell her you're mad for her and want another chance. You don't have anything to lose, but you have a lot to gain." Molly turned back around and let her words seep in. "Now, would be better than later, young man." she called over her shoulder. Sirius looked at him and nodded. Remus stood up slowly.

"I suppose it can't hurt." he said, walking out of the room. Sirius stood and propped himself up next to Molly.

"You know something, don't you?" he said, watching the older woman smile.

"I may have talked with that girl a bit a few days ago." Molly said, cutting onions. Sirius nodded.

"So you think they have a chance?" Sirius asked, Molly smiled wider.

"A huge one, yes."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Just wanted to say- Thank you for your kind words and support! Thank you to all my favroters, followers, readers and reviewers! Be sure to tell me what you think! And how you'd like for lunch to go- I haven't decided yet. Just know Sarah won't just go falling into his arms that easily!  
>Happy Reading!<br>~DMM**

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><p>Remus stood outside the door a good five minutes before he got to be to afraid to go into the library. He knew that Molly or Sirius neither one would let him out of this, but he didn't know what to say. It had only been a week since they'd even come face to face again. A week after close to five years was nothing, and he knew Sarah hadn't had enough time to get used to the idea. He walked away and into the room he now occupied down the hall and shut the door. He leaned heavily against it and sank to the floor. There was no way he could do this. He couldn't even look into her eyes, because all he could see was the hurt he put there. Memories started to overtake him. Her eyes had been the first thing he noticed the day he met her. She'd not been at the counter when he first came into the library, and he'd never seen her before, though he usually came in the mornings and the shift had changed. He was almost asleep on the sofa, nearing the end of a novel. Sarah had came in behind him and cleared her throat, smiling in amusement at finding someone nearly asleep in a library.<p>

It was a bit embarrassing, if he had to admin it, but he wasn't given many days off working for a shipping company at the docks in the small ocean-side town he was currently calling home. He normally worked nights, and on his walk home he'd often swing by the local library for a book as he went. This particular day he'd opened a book to see if it may be worth reading and had gotten sucked in almost immediately. Several hundred pages and two accidental naps later he'd been pulled out of the pages and into her eyes. He knew immediately when his eyes met hers that she was like him, in more ways than one. Her smell caught him next, confirming his suspicions that she was a lycan. She was also undeniably the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. After a fairly mortifying serious of babbling and an apology about reading rather than sleeping, he'd somehow managed to leave with a date. Remus smiled at the memory.

But now, he'd messed it up beyond repair, he was fairly sure of it. Sarah had quickly become his reason to getting up in the morning. They'd only known each other six months when she insisted he move in, if only to be closer to work (though again if he was honest, he spent such a little amount of time at his own place it really wasn't worth the rent either way). She'd never cared about his being eight years older her senior, the scars, and she started to take care of him after the moons since the first one after they'd met. He met her father quickly, which he had been told was not something Sarah was prone to do. Remus assumed if he was faced with him now, he'd have his own insides ripped out and handed to him, no matter how fond of him the older werewolf used to be.

He'd hurt her though. It had been his fault that beautiful light left her eyes. Sarah, who'd done everything to make him happy. Sirius was right, he was a coward. He couldn't even go see her to see that she was happy. He wanted her to have moved on, and he'd thought of going to see her so many times. He was simply scared another man would open the door and he wouldn't be able to keep Moony from ripping apart any man who dared to touch his mate. He wanted her to be happy with someone else, but he hadn't the stomach to see it for himself. Selfish, cowardly, stupid. Sirius was right. His own fears and self hatred had lead him to miss time with his child he'd never get back, and probably lose the one person he'd ever truly loved. Maybe if he started out with a simple conversation, ask about the last five years, her pregnancy, their son's infancy... Maybe if he could get her talking like they used to. Its how their relationship started really. He asked her to dinner and they sat and talked from just after eight in the evening until the staff asked them to leave fifteen minutes past midnight.

That's what he'd do now. Attempt to see if she'd allow herself to take in a meal with him, start off the invitation as time to go and talk about their son. He'd missed so much. He rose from his place on the floor and straightened the wrinkles out of his trousers the best he could do. It occurred to him to see if she'd kept any of his clothing from before, because they'd fit much better than the ones he had now. He thought that was probably a fruitless endeavor either way, to expect her to keep his things after all that she'd been through. He took a deep breath and walked through the door and back to the library, watching Alex where he was sitting with Hermione, the older girl reading to him quietly. Sarah was looking over the first two shelves that she'd filled and not paying attention. He cleared his throat and tried to smile, despite the lunch he felt churning in his stomach.

"Sarah, could I have a moment?" He knew when she turned around she was a bit annoyed, she wasn't fond of any of his interruptions in her day anymore. She turned to Hermione who gave her a nod and kept reading to Alex, then she walked out the doorway.

"Yeah?" she asked shortly, her eyes cutting into his soul. He looked away.

"I was just wondering- I mean I thought that if you didn't mind perhaps I could buy you lunch sometime this week, and get you out of here for a bit? Just- I mean I missed four years, there are things he can't tell me I'd like to know. I understand if you'd rather not..." He ventured a look back at her rather than his feet. She looked a bit put off, but gave a small nod.

"I guess. I need to get him a thing or two anyway." Her voice wasn't as harsh and cold as he'd come to know it when they spoke alone.

"Alright." He fought back his smile but knew it escaped his eyes when she tilted her head and squinted.

"Not a date." she said, turning on her heels and walking back to the books. He nodded even though she couldn't see him and walked away back toward the kitchen. At least she was willing to go.

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><p>After dinner that night and after Alex was in bed, Tonks stopped by to have a drink with Sirius, and Sarah pulled her to the side before they took Remus and held up in the drawing room on the top floor. Tonks looked a bit pleased with herself, but Sarah ignored it. She pulled the pink haired witch into an empty servants station off the kitchen and silenced it.<p>

"Tonks, I need a favor, and I don't want you to read into it." Sarah looked at Tonks pleadingly. Tonks raised an eyebrow.

"Er- Okay?" she said, suddenly very confused.

"Our house, there is a small attic that opens through a pop door with drop-down stairs in the kitchen. There are a few Christmas decorations, some old toys, boxes of books, and a blue trunk. The trunk was mine from Hogwarts, do you think you could bring it here? Just- shrink it and slip it in your pocket?" Sarah looked a bit embarrassed to even ask. Tonks looked at her confused again but nodded.

"Yup, should be no problem. I could pop over now if you want. Wouldn't take ten minutes." Tonks waited while Sarah took a second to think.

"Wow, yeah actually. I thought maybe tomorrow but now would be better. You're amazing." Tonks grinned.

"This I know. Be back in a mo!" she started to go back out but Sarah caught her arm.

"Please don't tell anyone you went to get it." she said, looking down rather than meeting the other witch's eyes.

"Okay." Tonks said, trying to sound like keeping it a secret wasn't a big deal. She had a feeling she knew what Sarah was sending her for, but she didn't want to ask. After all, Sarah hadn't said not to look, and if she was going to bring a trunk into Order Headquarters, she should rightly search it. Tonks nodded again and walked back out before she was seen, apperating to the edge of the street near Sarah's home. The air was cold for the summer, but Tonks assumed it was just the breeze coming off the ocean giving the wind a chill. She hurried down the street to the little home she and Kingsley had visited the previous week, walking in quietly illuminating only the tip of her wand rather than risking turning on the lights and alarming neighbors. When Sarah had to take Alex into hiding, Tonks had been introduced to her briefly, so that she may copy her looks and voice to alert the neighbors she'd be gone and not to worry, lest they report the two missing.

She crept into the kitchen and pulled the string, nearly knocking herself out with the slide out ladder as it came down to the kitchen floor. She rubbed the knot rising on her head but looked up and climbed carefully. In the corner to the far left sat the trunk Sarah had described. She knelt down next to it, wand between her teeth and opened the latches, carefully lifting the lid. The contents broke Tonks' heart. There were men's clothes, photographs, letters, books, other odds and ends lovingly shrank or folded so that everything fit. She didn't dare to dig through to see what else there may be. She snapped the lid closed and stepped back, taking her wand from her teeth and both casting a shrinking charm and a lightening charm on the trunk before dropping it into her pocket. She took Sarah's floo back to Grimmauld.

Sarah was waiting in the kitchen at the table, biting her nails nervously. "Wotcher" Tonks greeted, as she laid the tiny trunk in front of the red head. Sarah smiled sadly.

"You looked in it, didn't you?" Sarah knew the answer, but Tonks nodded and confirmed her thoughts. "I knew you would either way, Auror and all that. Don't judge me." Tonks smiled.

"Why would I judge you?" she asked sweetly. Sarah looked at the trunk.

"He just looks so ragged... these are his anyway, they're not doing anyone a bit of good in my attic." Tonks smiled again.

"I guess I'll go and find the boys then, yeah?" Tonks said, watching Sarah. She thanked the younger witch and walked out of the kitchen, holding the trunk close.

Inside her own room, Sarah quietly resized her old school trunk and pulled the clothes and shoes from inside, then resized it back, so that she could hide the rest. She had to make two trips and make certain no one was around to see, but she crept silently from her room she shared with Alex to the one Remus was currently living in, arms full of his old things. She put his clothes away in the wardrobe, shoes at the foot of the bed and went back to her own room to sleep. Remus would know where they'd come from, but she didn't care. He obviously needed them, and Sarah couldn't stand to see him look so run down anymore.

Alex was sleeping hard in his own small bed in the corner of her room, so she decided to light the lamp on her bedside table and read until her mind felt less busy. She was quite content for at least two hours before a soft knock sounded on her door. It was a single knock, followed by a torn piece of paper sliding under the crack and into the middle of the floor. Sarah looked over the foot of the bed, then crawled down to the end of her mattress and reached for the parchment. It had two words written in script she knew as well as her own.

_Thank you_

Sarah smiled and tucked the note into her book as a marker and curled up in ball, putting out the light with the flick of her wand.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: It's been a while, and I'm sorry. I want to thank all my readers, reviewers, followers and favoriters, who make me want to write. I must say reviews help me so much, and I hope I used Crimsonwolf520's idea well and you like it. **

**Happy Reading!  
>~DMM<strong>

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><p>Sarah groaned as she pulled open the wardrobe in her room. <em>Why did I agree to do this?<em> she wondered, trying to decide how to dress. She shouldn't be this nervous. Remus never made her feel nervous before, he'd always felt like home, always been her lover and her best friend. From the moment she'd met him, they'd just fit. _Of course that was five years ago. He's as much the same person as you are now, you're strangers now._ Sarah felt like crying, like pretending to be sick and staying in. Sure, she was tried of being cooped up in The Nasty and Most Moldy House of Black, but she didn't know how to go about this lunch... meeting with Remus. Molly was keeping Alex with her, and Sarah wasn't worried about leaving him with her. If anyone could handle Alexander's energy... It was a mother with seven children of her own.

She pulled a purple blouse out and looked it over. Purple was his favorite color on her, which had once annoyed her to no end, because in her mind, purple clashed with her bright red locks, but Remus had always said it brought out her eyes. She shook her head and put it away. Not purple. She pulled a pale peach colored blouse out from the wardrobe and laid it on the bed, then took some jeans from the drawer. Simple was probably best, after all this wasn't supposed to be a big deal.

In a room down the hall, Remus was having the opposite argument in his head. He was wondering if wearing his shirt that had been her favorite would be appropriate to do, because while he wanted her to believe this day was solely about her catching him up on their son, he wanted to be close to her again and this seemed to him to be a logical start as any. He laid the shirt out, staring it down. It was a pale blue shirt with thin, dark blue pinstripes. She'd gotten it for him for his birthday not long before he left, but she'd laid it out for him every chance she got before then. He swallowed thickly when he looked at himself in the mirror once he'd put it on. The clothes she'd kept fit much better than the ones he'd managed to find for himself, which were mostly only clothes that had once been his fathers. He felt much more like himself in his old things, and he'd received compliments from nearly everyone since she'd brought them back to him.

Twenty minutes until they were set to leave, Remus decided he should stop hiding in his room and check about his son, who he hadn't seen much of yet in the day as the little boy had decided to sleep through his breakfast. Remus smiled as he walked into the drawing room, where he found George Weasley holding Alex while Fred shot confetti out of his wand that dissolved before it hit the ground.

"Not teaching my boy anything I wouldn't, are you two?" Remus asked the brothers, a smile playing at his lips. Fred laughed.

"No, not at all." Fred said, cutting a look toward his brother. "Moony" he added under his breath.

"He's fallen, Professor. We were just cheering him up." George said, and he sat Alex down on the floor and he walked over to his father with a very theatrical limp.

"Hurt my leg, Dad. Fell off the rails of the steps trying to slide down." Alex looked up at Remus with what Remus knew to be his own look of mock hurt when he wanted pity. Remus would often use it on his fellow Marauders back in their school days to get his way. "Is probably broked."

"Broken," Remus corrected gently, "and probably not. Let us have a look," he said, picking the boy up off the floor and sitting down in a nearby couch with Alex in his lap. He rolled up the leg of the brown pair of cargo pants Alex was wearing to see a large purple and black bruise covering the child's knee. "Ouch!" Remus said in sympathy. Alex nodded and tweaked his lips to the side. "I bet you won't be doing that again anytime soon, will you son?" Remus watched the boy carefully.

"Not until I all better. Can you fix it?" Alex's eyes were pleading, and Remus knew deep down he should probably let the bruise heal naturally to keep the boy off the railing, but he didn't want him to hurt. He decided to make a deal.

"I can. But I will let it stay all banged up unless you promise me you'll stay off the railing. At least until you're about a foot taller." Alex looked a bit put off but nodded, so Remus took out his wand and mutter the spell he knew only too well from healing his own bruises. Alex's eyes grew wide as his leg glowed bright blue for a moment, then he ran a tiny hand over the skin where the purple patch had disappeared. "Now, you promised. I want to hear you say it." Alex cut him a glare that was stolen directly from Sarah's face and Remus laughed. "Say it."

"Fine. I promise, k Dad?" Alex sighed his words, and both of them knew he had no intention of keeping the promise. Remus dropped a kiss into the top of Alex's hair and set him down on the cushion next to himself. Alex crossed his arms over his chest and looked his father over.

"I know you want to slid the railing because the older boys do, and when you're bigger you will. Growing up shouldn't be rushed. You can do loads of fun things they cannot do any longer because of their size." Alex considered what he was being told, but turned away, obviously angry he hadn't gotten his way. Remus smiled. Maybe he intended to keep the promise after all.

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><p>The silence in the restaurant was deafening Remus, but he didn't know what to say. It was the same as it had been on their walk here. She didn't speak except in polite small talk and Remus didn't know what to do. It hadn't even been hard to talk to her before, why should it be now? <em>Because you made her life hell, idiot.<em> The voice in his head was harsh, but Remus agreed. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, the soft peach color of her blouse bringing out the freckles he adored so much. She took his breath away the moment she stepped down the steps to meet him before they'd left; but he hadn't said so. He didn't dare risk anything.

"I was under the impression you had things you want to know?" she said calmly, without the hardness her voice normally held when she spoke to him recently. She took a sip from her water and looked him over. Remus nodded.

"I was just kind of hoping you'd tell me about... Everything. I don't deserve to know, I know. But I want to know about your pregnancy- forward from there. Everything about him." One side of Sarah's mouth turned up, and Remus knew that wasn't a good sign. This story would be designed to let him feel what she felt, and it wouldn't be nice.

"I found out I was pregnant three days after you left me. My work requires annual physicals to insure we're all doing well... You remember. Anyway. They came back and told me that, and I hadn't slept since I woken up without you. I nearly passed out right on the spot. I made them retest me, I didn't believe them at first." Her eyes looked wet with the memory and Remus wanted to look away from the hurt he caused her. "I wasn't happy, and it broke my heart. They told me I was going to be a mother, which is like the only thing I ever wanted and I wasn't happy. I still apologize to him sometimes, in his sleep. He makes me so so happy. I was selfish." Remus nodded sadly.

"I'm sorry" he whispered. Sarah ignored him and continued her story.

"Everything was fine after that, for a while. I pulled my head out of my arse and took better care of myself, basically for his sake. At about four and a half months along I started blacking out at random points during the day. They took me by muggle ambulance to a clinic in the village, where they did lots of tests on my blood and ultrasounds to see what was wrong with him, and with me. That's actually how I found out that I was having a boy." Sarah looked into Remus' eyes, seeing he was feeling this along with her. She left out that she woke up crying out for him most nights, that she wrote him letters once a week. He didn't need to know those things, they weren't about Alex.

"So what caused it?" he asked her gently, like it may happen now if he spoke any louder.

"Iron. I wasn't taking enough in. Lycan babies need like three times the iron, from red meat. Too bad my mother wasn't alive to warn me on that one." Sarah blinked a few times, trying to fight back tears as the waitress came and took their order finally. When she walked away, Remus spoke again.

"So- could the muggle doctor's fix it?" Remus felt a bit stupid, they were obviously okay now so he knew it worked out but the story still made him nervous.

"Yeah, they gave me supplement pills. I had to take maturity leave though, as a precaution. It was paid time, but it was bloody boring and I hated it." She looked at him hard. _I was just so lonely._ She thought bitterly.

"Oh. Good." he said again, feeling awkward.

"Normal pregnancy from there. Went into labor at about four in the morning and drove myself over the the birthing center in the next town. They called my family, and by the time Dad and my sisters arrived Alex was a good two hours old." Remus felt pain hit him hard at that thought.

"You- had him alone?" he asked quietly, afraid to look at her.

"Of course I did, who else did I have?" Her words were harsh, worse than she meant for them to be and they both flinched. Remus only nodded. "It wasn't so bad, really. The labor team was wonderful. They laid him on my chest and- Oh. He was perfect. Covered in blood and the like, but still the most amazing thing I've ever laid eyes on. I cried just as hard as he was. They took him and cleaned him up and he was calm when he came back. He had so much hair... So much blond hair. All cleaned up I could look at him better and I saw just how much he looked like you and I..." The tears she'd been fighting slid silently down her cheeks. Remus balled his hands into fists against his legs, hating himself.

"Sarah?" she ignored him again.

"I took some pretty high dose postpartum depression drugs after that. I never had the thoughts you hear about though... Where you want to hurt you kid. No- I just felt hopeless a lot. At about three weeks old he got colic and Carrie moved in to help me." Remus nodded. Carrie was his favorite of Sarah's three sisters. She was a short, plump woman with a very kind heart but very loud mouth.

"Carrie's a good one" he said quietly, not knowing what else to say.

"She's the best. After that, infancy was pretty normal. His canine teeth came in quick, at about five months and I weened him of the breast and put him on a bottle." Remus gave a chuckle.

"That's understandable." He watched as her face lightened with the memory.

"He walked for the first time two days after his first birthday, his first word other than 'muma' was 'that', and he used to suck his pinky rather than his thumb." Remus was watching her talk carefully and after a while she had to look away. She didn't want to see the look of adoration he held for her. The waitress came after a few moments in silence and brought their food. Sarah dug in immediately, trying to think of what to tell him next. Years ago she was so thankful for the way he hung on her every word, now she was cursing it. He hadn't changed much at all, and it was breaking her heart. He was the same Remus she'd missed all these years. All in all, lunch with him was going well and she hoped they could finish it on a pleasant note and shop for Alex in peace, rather than in awkward silence. She'd missed having him to talk to.

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><p><strong>Won't you please leave a review?<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: This isn't as long as normal, but it's leading up to high drama. I hope you're all enjoying the story, I certainly love to write it. Thank you to all my followers, favoriters, reviewers. Be sure to tell me what you think!  
>Happy Reading!<br>~Duchess**

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><p>She hadn't meant to kiss him, even if it was on the cheek. Yet it happened, and Sarah was kicking herself. She'd made it clear that there was not a date-like component to their little outing, but it happened. He walked her to the bedroom she and Alexander were occupying and he was stammering the same heart-breakingly adorable way he had before their first kiss. She looked into his eyes and saw the pain, the hurt from being away- from her pushing him away. Sarah didn't know what she wanted, even if her heart screamed for her lover who was so close. Her mind knew it wasn't enough- she couldn't get Alex's hopes up if they couldn't work out. Sure, she believed Remus when he said that he wanted her happiness, but his willingness to give her away after asking her to spend their lives together- it confused her. She laid face down on the bed, waiting for Alex to awaken from his nap so he could try on the new clothes she'd got for him while they were out. Sarah was listening to the noises of the house through her slightly-cracked open bedroom door. She'd laid still a good fifteen minutes when she felt the mattress give slightly to her left, and she turned her head from the pillow it was buried in and smiled.<p>

"Hello my sweet little pup, have you had fun today with your Uncle Padfoot?" Since Remus had been introduced into Alex's life, Sirius had been promoted from just Padfoot to 'Uncle' Padfoot.

"I did. We found a bog-wart upstairs. He said my grandpa and grandma Lupin met because of a bog-wart." Sarah smiled and nodded.

"Boggart.," she corrected gently, but continued. "They did. I'm surprised your Dad didn't tell you that first. He loves that story." Alex shrugged.

"Uncle Padfoot says that bog-warts are scary, he wouldn't let me get close." Sarah nodded again. She sat up and reached beside the bed, picking up the shopping bag she'd placed there before her emotional flop down and laid all the clothes out on the bed.

"I need you to try these on, they should be just a touch too big, so you can grow into them. They're for school in the fall- you'll be old enough to start pre-school this year." Alex wrinkled his nose but began to do as he was told, trying on each outfit and giving a twirl for his mother to inspect the fitting of each item before moving on to the next. After the fifth outfit of tan slacks and a pale green polo shirt, Alex stopped and looked at his mother, tilting his head to the side.

"Mummy?" he said, concentrating hard on his words, and Sarah knew something was weighing on his mind.

"Alex?" she retorted, a hint of humor playing at her voice.

"How come you and dad aren't married like Molly and Artfer or Georgie's Mummy and dad?" Sarah closed her eyes. She didn't know where this would've come from, but she knew it was to be expected eventually.

"Not all mummys and daddys are married, love. Sometimes that just isn't how it works. Molly and Arthur have been together a long time and..." Sarah sighed, watching Alex face sadden.

"But I thought... I mean you told me people got married when they loved each other. Dad loves you a whole whole lot. He told me so." Sarah nodded and started to speak, but Alex kept going. "Do you not love daddy too?" Sarah closed her eyes. This conversation had already happened with Molly, Sirius, and if she was honest with herself, she'd even held this conversation with Remus in her head a time or two.

"Do you not love daddy too?" Remus heard the sound of his son's voice from the other side of the cracked door, and though he knew listening in was wrong, he couldn't help himself. He stopped his walking down the hall and leaned gently into the wall next to the door. He heard an audible sigh from Sarah.

"I do, very much. It just more complicated than that. I wanted to get married to your daddy. I planned on it. But sometimes things happen, and plans don't get to be kept." Sarah's voice was cracking and Remus had to cover his face with his hands and rub to keep back tears. If he cried, she'd hear him.

"Why not?" Alex asked firmly, and Remus heard his little foot stomp.

"Because it just happens baby, I'm sorry. You can ask your dad these questions. He'll have more answers than I." Sarah obviously didn't want to talk anymore about it, and Remus backed away from the door. He backtracked and took a different route to the kitchen, through the servant's halls hardly anyone used. Sirius was there alone with only Tonks for company, and Remus was relieved.

"Something wrong, mate?" Remus supposed he was probably paled, he knew for sure he was shaking.

"I overheard Alex and his mum... He was asking her questions and he asked if she loved me..." He trailed off and shook his head, like waking up from a dream. Tonks grinned.

"And she said yes, because she wouldn't lie to her son over things like that." Tonks said, as if she'd heard it all with him. Remus looked at her, obviously confused.

"Ye- Yes. She did." He stammered his answer and Sirius squinted, looking quite confused.

"And you're madly in love with her, I thought you'd be happier to hear that." Remus shot Sirius an angry warning look, his eyes darker from the moon coming full the next night.

"It's not all she said. I overheard them talking, like I said. I guess he asked why we aren't married, and she had more to say." He paused and took a deep breath but Tonks seemed to be a bit too impatient to wait.

"Which was?" she asked, leaning forward from her seat. Remus moved and sat down next to his best friend, across from the pink haired witch.

"Which was... that she _wanted_ to be married, but that he should ask me why they aren't because I'll know better and I really don't know what to tell him. I can't tell him I aided a madman in the kidnapping of children. That I lived on the streets. That I was simply too ashamed..." Sirius cut him off.

"You didn't aid that bastard in kidnapping those kids, you simply taught them. You did what you had to do to protect your family, and let's all be honest he was taking them with or without someone to teach them to read. You helped them and you know it." Remus didn't seem satisfied with that answer.

"I've fucked my life up so completely that I can't even explain to my child why I'm not married to his mother. I'd give anything to be near her again... and she... Merlin, I'm so confused." His words were snapped, causing Tonks to jump. Sirius, who was a bit more seasoned at dealing with the more moody side of Remus sat still, raising one eyebrow.

"She what, Moony?" he watched his friend carefully. Remus had the hint of a smile playing at his lips, a shine in his eyes.

"She... she kissed me when we got back from lunch." Tonks' mouth hung agape, but Sirius looked even more confused. Remus realized some clarification might be necessary. "It was a kiss on the cheek, that's all. I don't know. I'm so confused. I've buggered this to hell." Sirius clapped his hand on Remus' shoulder.

"She just needs time. I promise. Keep going how you're going and-" Sirius was cut off when a silvery phoenix patronus flew into the room and lit on the table with grace. The voice of Albus Dumbledore filled their ears.

_"Harry's been attacked by two dementors- he use a patronus charm to escape, but the Ministry wants him expelled. Meeting in fifteen minutes."_ Sirius paled at first, but then looked over to Remus and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"You've saved him, too." he said, pulling away smiling. "I believe teaching really is your calling."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Hello! Welcome to all my new fans, followers, favoriters and reviewers! I appreciate all your support! I hope you enjoy this chapter and please tell me what you think! It may be a bit anticlimactic- but it's important. :)  
>Happy Reading!<br>~Duchess**

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><p>"You look like my Uncle James" Alexander was riding on George Weasley's back as they entered the room where Harry was talking with- or more accurately yelling at- Ron and Hermione. Ginny held her arms out and Alex slipped off the girl's older brother's back and into her embrace. She gently sat him on the floor where he walked over to Harry. Harry stopped his complaining and starred at the little boy for a moment, and Alex starred back.<p>

"I er- Who are you?" Harry asked, bending down to look at Alex closer. Harry looked baffled, because of all the things strangers had said to him over the years- this was the most strange. He glanced over to Hermione for an answer but before she could provide one, the young boy had spoken up.

"My name's Alexander Lupin." he said with a grin, and stuck his hand out in the way his mother taught him was polite when meeting new people. Harry's brow furrowed again.

"Lupin?" Harry squinted at the boy, with wild sand-blond hair and green eyes. He nodded up at Harry. "Are- you're Remus' son?" Harry sat down on the bed with a plop. Alex nodded, looking at Harry like this was obvious information, and the more Harry looked at him- the more obvious it became. "Then I look like your Uncle James because I'm his son. That sort of makes us family." He said to Alex, vaguely aware of anyone else in the room. Harry had been so glad to have Sirius, his godfather, for sure. But Remus meant a lot to him, too. Knowing he was also a brother to his father, and before meeting this boy they were all that was left of what had once been his family. His _real_ family, unlike the Dursleys.

"Mhmm!" the boy hummed excitedly. "That's what my Uncle Padfoot says. Him and my dad have pictures." Alex scooted off toward the bed and climbed up beside George, with whom the boy was most attached and sat down, waiting for someone to say something, not understanding the tension in the room. Harry looked still thoroughly confused, distressed, but happy to meet the boy. The only other child of a Marauder.

Downstairs, the Order of the Phoenix was having a meeting to discuss what the official plan was for Harry and his meeting at he Ministry to determine his academic fate. Though she was not actually a member, Sarah was sitting in, listening to the proceedings. There had been a good twenty minutes of back and forth about how to argue his point before Sarah began to realize that though several members were employed at the Ministry, none of them were very clear on the way hearings were held. She hoped hard, fingers crossed even, that Remus wouldn't mention-

"Sarah was studying to be a interrogative attorney for the Ministry before werewolf legislation made her further studies or employment a crime." Remus spoke up, and Sarah ducked her head. _Damn him._ The attention of about thirty people turned to her, as she had something brilliant to say. She blinked a few times, blushed, and shrugged.

"Miss Yancey, if you have anything to say that may help..." Arthur said, looking at her hopefully. "Or perhaps you could even accompany Harry." Sarah began to wonder where Dumbledore was, why he wasn't handling this personally. There was a bit too much expectation behind helping _Harry Potter._ He wasn't just any fifteen year old wizard, after all.

"Like Remus said, I was thrown out my second year of study for being born a bit less than human. I'm sorry. Even with what I learned, I'm sure laws have changed, as they always do. And I'm afraid I'd be laughed out of the room if you asked me to go with him either way. The Madam Undersecretary is a bit... she's not a fan of mine." She looked down, feeling a bit ashamed of it all. She'd tried to put that behind her, altogether leaving the wizarding world by taking what was supposed to be a temporary job at a muggle library. That was nearly eight years ago.

"If I may," Severus Snape said from the wall he was propped against. "The Headmaster will undoubtedly be at the Ministry in Harry's defense, as is his plan at the moment. However, as he has other, more pressing matters to attend to that once again pulling Potter from the fire he caused..." Snape paused, noticing Sirius and Remus both giving him hard looks. "He will not be available to coach Harry in how to answer council questions or how to address the Minister, who will be proceeding as Potter's case is so very high profile." Snape looked the redheaded woman before him over, his dark eyes making Sarah uncomfortable. "Perhaps you could coach the boy. As you said, laws have changed, but the proceedings and structure of the hearing has been the same for decades, with virtually no changes."

"I suppose..." Sarah said nervously, feeling the weight of everyone's gaze upon her. Her ears suddenly perked up, hearing her son's giggle close- along with frustrated sounds from Fred Weasley toward Hermione's cat. "The kids are listening in." she said- gesturing toward the door. Molly looked furious, shoving her chair back and grabbing the door to the main dining room they were occupying, pulling it closed with a loud bang. Molly turned back around with a look of pure frustration, mumbling something about 'stringing the twins up for their eavesdropping ears'.

"I'd kill to have a set of ears like yours." Molly said, giving Sarah a gentle smile. Sarah gave a halfhearted one back. _People would want you dead for having them._ she thought sourly. Sirius seemed to be feeling for her at this point, so he clapped his hands together and rose from the table.

"Alright. Molly- fetch the kids down for dinner then, I think we've settled up here." Everyone seemed in agreement, and many members of the Order dispersed. Only about eight members were staying, as they were the ones currently residing in the house. Sarah was left in the room alone for a moment, as most everyone had either broken off to their rooms or moved into the smaller, less formal dining room right off the kitchen were most meals were taken. Her cheeks still burned red from being put on the spot. Molly came back in and put a hand on Sarah's shoulder.

"Sarah dear, are you alright?" The older witch's voice was full of concern. Sarah shrugged.

"I don't tell people about that. It's horribly embarrassing." She looked at the table rather than Molly.

"Why is that, love? Nobody finds any fault in you for it." Molly gave her shoulder a pat. "It was beyond your control."

"I was top of the class." Sarah gave a mock laugh. "That toad Umbridge- she came in with this utterly blissful smile and in front of everyone told me that I needed to leave." Sarah paused and took a breath. "Told me they didn't want to have to treat the training rooms for fleas." The shame of the situation showed in Sarah's eyes. Molly felt a pang in her heart.

"That's despicable." Molly said, a bit too loud.

"What is?" Remus had come into the room, and looked concerned at Sarah. Sarah in turn shot him an angry look for calling her out in front of everyone.

"The story behind my Ministry dismissal." Her tone was back to the cutting, bitter pitch he'd grown used to was back, and he knew he deserved it.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you." he said meekly, and Molly quietly looked from Sarah to Remus, realizing they needed space. "I just thought maybe you could offer an insight that we didn't have." Sarah licked her lips before drawing them into her teeth. She nodded slightly, looking up to meet his eye, her eyes hard and angry.

"You think if I thought I'd had something to offer I wouldn't it?" she gritted her teeth. Remus didn't say anything and she pushed past him to make for the kitchen, Remus on her heels.

"I didn't mean any harm, Sarah." He sounded as upset about it as she felt. "I know exactly how it feels, now anyway." Sarah turned around to scream, to tell him he was wrong. Then she remembered- Hogwarts. He had always dreamed of being a teacher... Her face softened. "I'm sorry." He whispered, and she gave him a small smile.

"It's okay. I overreacted, I suppose." she felt a bit bad for getting so mad at him. Before she could say anything else, Remus stumbled forward a bit, and Sarah realized Alexander was attached to the back of his legs.

"Daddy!" the boy squealed excitedly. Sarah smiled at the two of them as Remus scooped him up and sat him up on his shoulder. "I met Harry!" he said triumphantly. Remus laughed at his son's enthusiasm.

"Is that so?" Remus asked, carrying Alex into the dining room with everyone else. They settled down at the table, Sarah and Remus sitting with Alex between them. Dinner went fairly roughly, with Harry being rather upset about how much they had left him out of. There was noticeable tension between Sirius and everyone else, because Sirius was in agreement with Harry- he deserved to know what was going on in his own life. Sarah was getting progressively more annoyed, mostly because Alex was not used to conflict like the discussion was causing. Once Alexander was done eating, Sarah sent him with Remus to be bathed so that she might introduce herself to Harry and offer her service as a legal coach.

"Harry- I'd like for you to meet Sarah Yancey. She will be helping you prepare for your hearing at the Ministry." Harry gave a small polite smile and handshake as Sirius gave an introduction. Sarah took his hand and smiled in return.

"Pleasure to meet you, Harry. I've heard all about you." Harry barely hid the cringe on his face, and Sarah almost laughed.

"No... I don't mean the whole 'Boy-Who-Lived' thing, not that I'm unfamiliar with the story. Sirius and Remus have both talked about you plenty. Mostly talking to Alex, but I listen in." Harry smiled a bit brighter.

"I much prefer when people know me, not the news story." Harry said, relief evident in his voice. Sarah nodded. Harry looked a bit curious, and gave a quick scan of the room before asking Sarah, "So- you're Alex's mother?"

"I am." she nodded. Harry looked confused, and Sarah knew that she'd have to tell her story yet again- but she was already tired. "How about you go and get some rest and tomorrow after lunch we'll get started on your case?" Harry gave a thankful smile and nod, before bidding Sarah and Sirius both goodnight.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: HI! Sorry it's been so long! I hope ya'll are all doing well.  
>REMUS-TONKS SHIPPERS: I started a Ronks story called 'The Broken Road' and I'd love you forever if you checked it out. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you to all my fans, followers, readers and reviews. You're all amazing!<br>Happy Reading!  
>~DMM<strong>

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><p>The next day found Molly busy getting school supplies for all the children, so Sarah took it upon herself to make lunch for the house. She'd started to compile a rather large pile of sandwiches made from roast Molly had made the day before. Sirius slipped in behind her quietly and sat down, watching her work around the kitchen.<p>

"Moony tells me you were quite the cook" he said when she turned around to put the first stack of sandwiches on the table.

"I'd say 'were' is the key word. I stopped cooking like he remembers when he left. Alex isn't picky but he also isn't old enough to appreciate elaborate meals so its we eat simple." Sarah replied quietly, making Sirius regret the comment. "But once upon a time, I loved to cook, yes." The second part of her answer made Sirius feel even worse.

"Ah." he said simply. He looked at the table rather than at the young woman, wondering what to say.

"You all don't have to do that." Sarah said defensively.

"Do what?" Sirius asked, watching her cut potatoes into strips for frying chips.

"Get quiet, feel guilty. I'm not sure why everyone walks on eggshells around me, but I am starting to get sick of it." Sarah turned around and looked to Sirius, who sighed.

"I suppose they don't know what to say." Sirius replied, his face looking a bit guilty. Sarah turned back to her stack of potatoes, but she didn't say anything. Sirius waited for a reply, but when one didn't come, he spoke again. "He's at a job interview, if you're wondering. Muggle place." Sarah shook her head.

"I wasn't wondering. It's not my business." she replied shortly.

"He's really trying to be his best for Alex, you know." Sirius said again, his voice sheepish. "He wants to make him proud." He knew this was dangerous water to trudge into.

"I know he does." She said back, putting oil on the stove in a pot to heat.

"Sarah?" Sirius said cautiously. She left out a grunt and turned around sharply.

"What, Sirius? What? Stop beating around the bush and say what you want to say." Her eyes nearly glowed with anger.

"What's holding you back?" Sirius asked, swallowing nervously. "I know its really none of my business, but he's my best mate. I just-"

"Just want him to be happy?" Sarah interrupted. She cut her eyes at the man before her. "Yeah. I get that. I'm sure its easy for you all to see his side of this, but not one person pushing me back to him has stopped to think about me. I was alone for nearly five years, wondering what I did wrong. Why my whole world suddenly decided I wasn't enough and left. Then all of a sudden I'm in hiding for my life and stuck with him again, and all you lot think it's just fate and we should be a family. Well, I'd like to remind you all that he didn't want me back. He _never_ planned to come back. He left me, and meant it to be for good." She turned away from Sirius again, mostly to hid the tears escaping down her cheeks.

"He just thought.."

"I know what he thinks Sirius." she said back, snapping at him so hard her teeth clicked. Sirius walked away quietly as Sarah started to drop the potatoes into the bubbling oil. He knew this fight was over, and he'd defiantly lost. Sarah finished everything and called the rest of the house down for lunch. The kids filed in and ate quietly, except for Alexander who had distressed questions about why his dad wasn't there on this particular day. It was more a of reality check for Sirius, seeing why Sarah was scared to let him in again. If Remus decided to leave them again, it would destroy Alex. Sirius sis his best to reassure the boy that his father would be there soon, but it wasn't until Remus slipped quietly into the dining room that Alexander would calm down. Sarah didn't try to calm him down in the whole time, just sitting quietly next to him, her expression as blank as she could manage. When Remus walked in, Alex immediately wiggled down from his seat and ran to him, clinging to his legs tightly.

"Where you go Dad?" He asked Remus, looking up with his eyes shining bright. Remus smiled at him, then knelt down and pick him up.

"I went to a job interview at a Retirement Home." he said patiently, watching his son wiggle about. It unnerved him to see how upset Alex was to find him missing for the morning. "Are you alright son?" Alex clung tightly to his father's neck.

"I not find you in the morning, it scared me." he said in a tiny voice. "I just got you." Remus looked toward Sarah, who still hadn't even looked up from her food.

"I'm not going anywhere, son. I just went for a few hours. And hopefully on some days I'll be gone a few hours a day to work. But I'll always be back. I- I promise you, Alex." The little boy let out a tiny whimper and it made Remus hold him closer. "I promise."

"Okay." Alexander said sheepishly, laying his head on Remus' shoulder. He carefully sat down at the table and Sarah automatically moved Alex's plate to Remus' reach, then made another and sat before him. Everyone else at the table seemed to pick up on the tension, and the older children ate quickly and filed back out of the room and returned to their chores Molly had set before. Remus was finally able to coax Alex down to finish his lunch, and then they too left the room quietly, Alex pulling Remus' hand as he went.

"Do you see, Sirius?" Sarah asked, as he helped her clean up from the meal.

"He's not going to let that little boy go, Sarah." Sirius said, stacking plates to put in the sink.

"That's just from one morning. Imagine if he left him now. Like before." Her voice was so bitter that it hurt Sirius. Sarah was obviously a sweet, kind woman by nature, but this subject had turned her sour.

"He won't." Sirius said as he charmed the dishes to wash themselves.

"I hope you're right." she whispered in return.

"That goes for you, too." Sirius said back, in an equally hushed voice. Sarah looked over and Sirius could see ever ounce of pain in her eyes.

"It's not that simple. You think I don't ache when I look at him? See him with Alex? It's like every dream I ever had when I watch them play. And you lot think its just as simple as 'well don't you still love him?' and of course I do! But like I said, I'll always no that even though he's shaped up to be a great father- he didn't choose to be." She stopped and wiped her cheeks clean of tears. "It's not like he could ignore him with us here. He had no choice in the matter, really." She looked down at the tan line on her hand. "I hung on for him for so long. I wanted him to want me enough to come home to us. Even though he didn't know about Alex, I wanted it to be his choice." She hiccuped a bit trying to calm down. "But that didn't happen. It was _never_ going to happen." Sirius didn't say anything at first, he just stood by as Sarah ran some cool water into her hands and splashed it on her face.

"I'm sorry." Sirius said finally, feeling very guilty. "I'll leave you alone about it." Sarah smiled sadly.

"Thank you." she said quietly, her voice much calmer and softer now. "Why don't you go see if Harry wants to talk about his trial and if so I'll meet him in the library in about twenty minutes." Sirius nodded and walked out, leaving her alone to think.

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><p>Harry was perched nervously on the edge of a chair when Sarah walked in. "Hello Miss Yancey." he said awkwardly as she walked in. Sarah wrinkled her nose.<p>

"Please Harry, it's Sarah." she said back with a smile. She sat down across from him and leaned back into the chair, relaxing back and hoping that Harry would take a cue and do the same. The young wizard remained straight backed and on edge, and Sarah sighed. "Harry, you don't want to go in there scared. You didn't do a thing in the world wrong. Let them know that." Harry nodded and sat back.

"Er- right." he said, letting his shoulders fall more naturally.

"Okay. Better. You go in, don't let them know you're intimidated. There are rows of people sitting together, they all wear black robes and these awful little hats. You'll sit in the center of a 'U' shape, with every eye on you. Do not show fear or weakness. They'll try to crack you into admitting to doing something you didn't do." Harry nodded, listening carefully. "They may fire questions at you left and right, different people may speak to you at the same time. It's a tactic they use to try and get admissions of guilt from the innocent, because if you answer the wrong question at the wrong time, they'll get you for it." Harry looked worried.

"Alright. So- what do I do in that case?" He asked, watching the older witches face.

"You don't do anything. You wait until the noise stops. They'll be rude about it, I promise you that. But you look at them, you _smile sweetly_ and you say 'I'm sorry. I couldn't understand that many voices at once. Could we retry that with more order?" She sat forward and waited for a moment. "Give it a try." Harry repeated her words back to her with the best 'shit-eating-grin' he could muster. From what Remus used to tell her about James, Sarah knew he would've been proud of the look. The two spent another hour talking about the trail and what Harry would need to say or do when different things might come up. Just as Sarah was about to tell him she thought he was as prepped as she could get him, Alex bounded into the room and landed on her lap.

"Mummy!" he squealed, squirming into Sarah's lap.

"Alex." she replied calmly, kissing the tip of his nose. "Where's your father?" Alex looked a bit sad.

"Mr. Kingsley came and had to talk to him, so he said for me to come in here." He laid his head down on his mother's shoulder.

"Do you need a nap?" She asked gently, stroking the boy's hair. Alex nodded slightly and Sarah stood up. She turned to Harry. "Sweetheart, if you have any questions or want to go over it again, just ask." Harry smiled and thanked her, and she walked quietly out toward the room that held their beds. By the time she went to lay Alex down, he was already asleep. Sarah sighed as she ran a hand through his hair. She watched him wiggled down into his covers, the stood to leave, but jumped when she turned toward the door to find Remus propped up, watching him. He'd had his hair cut and was clean shaved for his interview, and was wearing a suit that had once occupied space in her attic. Sarah swallowed.

'What?' she mouthed, her face visibly annoyed. He gestured away from the room and she followed, closing the bedroom door behind her. She folded her arms over her chest and waited.

"He's upset I sent him to you, isn't he?" Remus asked sadly. Sarah simply nodded. "I was afraid so." He looked down at his feet.

"What did Kingsley want?" she said impatiently, but feeling guilty for her tone. Remus hadn't actually bothered her, it was Sirius that had her upset. She made a mental note to change her tone.

"He wants me to go back to the pack." He said slowly, like the words cut his throat as they came out. Sarah felt like oxygen left the room at the thought of what that would do to Alex. She looked away from him, mouth slightly open. Remus noticed the discomfort on her face because he spoke again before he had time to. "I told him no." She looked back to him, relief flooding over her face.

"You told him no?" she said quietly, like she didn't believe what she heard. He nodded. "Why?"

"I promised my son I wouldn't leave him. And I won't." He said, moving to walk away. "I just thought I'd tell you what was happening." he said, smiling slightly. Sarah nodded and watched him walk away, leaning into the wall. _This complicates things_ she thought to herself, turning to go back into her room.

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><p><strong>Show my review button some love on this cold November day! Say things about my story! :)<br>**


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: LOOOOONG ONE! Hope you enjoy it.  
>Happy Reading!<strong>

**~Duchess**

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><p>"It's one job interview, Moony. He's four years old. It's not the end of the world. Hell- he doesn't understand any of it, you haven't had a job in the month he's known you and I dare say he doesn't care." Sirius finished pouring the glass before him full of fire whiskey it to Remus, who threw the whole shot back at once and sat the glass back on the counter- upside down signalling he'd have no more.<p>

"You don't understand." He said to Sirius sadly, not looking up. "I'm just..." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm just so damn useless. I needed that. Or anything really. One day he will grow up and I don't want him to think I'm a dead beat, I missed four years already." Sirius watched his best friend, how broken this had made him. He quietly flipped his glass back over and refilled it, scooting it closer to the other wizard.

"You don't have to do anything but be his father. Love him. He's half you and half Sarah, so he'll be a ruddy genius, probably a Ravenclaw, bless him. He'll know what being a werewolf has done to you. To his mother, his grandfather. But not to him, because we're going to fix the world." Sirius tapped his finger at the glass, knowing the amount of alcohol it takes to get a werewolf drunk is much more than the average man. "Drink up."

"Sarah was a Ravenclaw." Remus said matter-of-factly, before downing the shot before him and once more flipping the glass. "So it's not like it'd be out of the blue. Actually, I'm the only Lupin that wasn't." He paused and thought. "My family really didn't make it a big deal like your lot did." He said as an afterthought.

"What are you going to do about her, mate?" Sirius asked, hesitantly. Remus reached into his pocket and placed a small velvet box on the table.

"Nothing. That was hers from before- She left it in my room." Sirius opened it to find the same diamond ring Sarah was wearing when she first came to his home. His mouth opened, but words wouldn't come out. He couldn't imagine how badly that hurt him. _Unless she wants him to give it back to her, properly_ Sirius thought to himself. "I'd call that pretty definitive, wouldn't you?" Sirius shook his head, but Remus was turned away, and Sirius had promised Sarah he'd leave her side alone.

"I'm sorry, Moony." Sirius said, gently as he could. Remus picked it up and started for the door.

"I had it coming." he said, and Sirius could hear the tears on his voice. Sarah ducked behind another doorway to avoid letting Remus know she'd been listening in on their conversation, holding her breath so she wouldn't be heard.

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><p>A few weeks past, and with Harry thankfully being acquitted and all the older children were back in school. Alex was slowly learning that the full moon mad his father a bit weaker, less fun, but no less attentive to the boy who was wolf without pain. It had been deemed too dangerous to allow Alexander to attend the school his mother had intended, so while she insisted she be allowed to return to work, Alex was taught at Grimmauld by his father. It seemed to cheer them both up, and Sarah couldn't help but find this arrangement ideal. Remus was happy to be with Alex, who in turn was overjoyed that his Dad was teaching him. Sarah didn't let Remus know that she'd heard him talking to Sirius, about the job or about her- mostly because she felt bad about listening. She'd honestly headed into the study for a book she'd left laying beside the window, but hearing voices on the other side of the door she hung back. On one of her days off she caught a moment with Sirius alone for a chat.<p>

"I didn't mean what he thinks by giving it back." she said, blurted really, catching Sirius off guard.

"What did you mean, then?" Sirius asked, his voice defensive. He'd seen Remus, heard his voice. Out of this whole situation nothing had upset him more. Sarah wrapped her arms around herself defensively and then shrugged.

"I don't know." She looked down, almost ashamed. "I just didn't feel right having it right now." She said, realizing what her own words implied.

"Right now?" Sirius quirked an eyebrow, less than subtle smirk on his face.

"Please, don't." she pleaded. I can't do this whole speech again. I've only been around him again for two and a half months. And tomorrow is going to be hard enough on me without your constant-"

"Tomorrow?" Sirius interrupted. Sarah looked away, realizing her mouth had ran away with her again.

"It was supposed to be my wedding day, okay?" she said in a small voice.

"If it bothers you so much, why don't you give him another chance?" Sirius asked. Sarah lost patience with him.

"BECAUSE THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" She screamed, causing him to flinch. "How many times am I going to have to tell you that I still love him before you're happy? Love isn't enough, it's childish to believe so. I don't even know him anymore. I can't just..." She stopped, turned promptly and walked away. Sirius felt a bit offended, so he made chase, following her out of the kitchen, up the stairs to the third floor drawing room where they both walked in to find Remus sitting on the floor against the wall, letter in one hand, the other covering his mouth. He looked horrified. The owl who delivered it was wearing a leather strap, one of the Hogwarts owls, the only ones warded against being followed and therefore often used by the Order. Her face softened and Sirius watched her walked to him slowly, taking the letter from his hands and reading it for herself. Remus didn't move from his place on the floor.

"What's it say?" Sirius asked, anxiously walking over.

"Greyback had his beta attack a family- the father was killed the mother was killed but first-" She looked sick and Sirius didn't have to ask what else had been done to her. "And they took an infant." She finished somberly. She laid the letter on the floor near Sirius' feet and pulled Remus to her, holding him tight.

"I have to go." Sirius heard Remus whisper to Sarah, and he knew he needed to leave them alone. He backed out of the room quietly, walking down the stairs to the second floor to make sure Alex was still having his nap.

"I know." Sarah said back, not letting him go from her. "I know you do." she nuzzled her nose into his hair and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes.

"What will Alex think?" Remus said, his voice broken. Sarah sat back and took his face in her hand, tilting his chin up so that she could look him in the eye.

"You're a solider in a war, Remus. One day that will make him very, very proud." She wiped a tear running down his cheek away. "But only on one condition." She added, and smiled when she saw the worry flash in his eyes. "This time, you have to come home."

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><p>Telling Alex his father would be away a while didn't go so well. Molly was to take over his tutoring, which he felt was unnecessary, and he didn't understand why Remus had to go, why it couldn't be anyone else. He's screamed, and hung so tightly to Remus that Sarah and Sirius both checked quite a few times to make sure the tiny boy wasn't suffocating him. He'd reused to let his father go that night, and clung tightly to his neck even in his sleep, so Sarah told Remus to just lay down with him and he would eventually relax. It took over an hour, but Alexander did finally loosen his grip in sleep. He crept out of the room quietly, finding Sarah alone in the basement kitchen nursing a cup of tea.<p>

"He'll understand, I promise." Sarah said, seeing the despair written across her former lover's face. Remus sat down directly across from her, studying every feature of her face. He wanted to rememorize every swill to her eyes, every freckle on her nose. Her long red hair was twisted to one side and held with a puffy pink hairband. She smiled a tiny bit watching him. "What?" she asked, a bit amused.

"You're perfect." he confessed, sighing and looking away. Sarah's smile fell, and she stared into her tea cup. "Sorry." he mumbled, looking back to her. "But we need to talk." he said seriously.

"Alright." Sarah agreed with a nod. She waited for him to start.

"You know as well as I do that I might not come back from this." he said, raising a hand when she tried to interrupt. "No, Sarah. Don't pretend it's not true. It won't make it go away." Sarah started to blink rapidly, and Remus knew she was fighting tears in. "Please don't cry. I want to talk to you just once and not make you cry." He swallowed hard and watched her wipe her eyes with the pad of her thumb. "I never want to upset you." He said quietly.

"You have to come back." she said, her voice broken by her hiccups from her grief.

"I will do everything I can to do so. I'm only planning to go for two months, and I fully plan to bring that baby back so that the Order can find her a home." He said, watching Sarah stand up and move to the sink, laying her teacup and saucer in softly. She stayed at the counter and leaned against it, turned to face Remus.

"You have no choice. You HAVE to come home." She said, her voice even more firm. She watched him, as he moved to push his sandy hair from his eyes. His jaw tightened, and he looked more upset.

"I'm doing everything I can for him, Sarah." he said, his voice deflated. "I didn't get that job, and now I can't try for another for a while." He stood up and pushed his chair in, leaning heavily on the back of it. "I can at least make the world safer for him." he said finally.

"What about me?" she said, shocked to hear the words from her own mouth. Remus looked up, obviously surprised.

"What do you mean?" he said questioningly.

"What about me?" she said again. "You leave in the morning, you wanted to talk. You're talking about dying like it's part of your plan, Remus. So tell me, if there is anything you want me to know, tell me now." She said, stepping closer. Remus stayed silent for a long time staring at her as if she'd grown another head. His mind raced, trying to find the right words.

"Sarah," he started, then sighed loudly. "I love you, and I know I messed up and that it's over. But I love you so, so so so much. So if you want to know what I would want you to know if I died, then hear this. I love you, as much now as ever. I never stopped, never plan to. I wish with everything in me, that I could fix this and be with you again, but I know I can't. I'd trade my magic just to wake up next to you one more time. I'd snap my wand now if it meant I could hold you like I used to." Tears streamed down her face as he spoke, but he kept talking. "The thought of you is what kept me from killing myself the last time I had to go with that damned pack, and when I was sleeping on the street. Your happiness means more to me than anything, except Alex's but that should go without saying. I want you to know all that." he took a deep breath before continuing. "And I want to thank you for letting me get to know Alexander, for giving him my last name, for not poisoning him against me. You'll never understand how much that means." He stepped over to where she was standing and brushed his fingers over her cheeks, wiping away her tears. "Is that enough of an answer?" he asked, almost playfully.

"Remus..." She said, looking up at him. He touched the back of his hand to her cheek lovingly.

"You need to go get some sleep." he said in a whisper. He turned and walked for the door, Sarah standing still in her place behind him.

"Goodnight." she called after him.

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><p>Sarah didn't end up going to sleep that night. She took the trunk out and opened it, going through old things from when she and Remus were together. She re-read letters, over and over. She watched them dancing, kissing, laughing in photographs. She took out a book filled with pressed flowers, one from each time he'd bought, brought or picked her flowers. She didn't want him to go any more than Alex did, but he didn't give her a chance to say so. He'd simply went to sleep, and she knew he needed it for the journey he had ahead of him. The letters are what she spent the most time on. Remus had the most perfect penmanship she'd ever seen, and such a way with words it blew her away. At five thirty in the morning, she got up and decided to make a pot of coffee. She'd barely set the percolator on when Sirius padded in softly, pajama clad and barefooted.<p>

"You can't sleep either?" he asked sympathetically. Sarah shook her head.

"No." she said in a whisper, fidgeting with her nails.

"He'll be okay. During the first war, he went to them. I don't know if he told you..." he noted her interested but terrified expression. "I'm guessing not. We'd only been out of Hogwarts for five months, and Dumbledore asked him to try and convince some of the others to come to our side, and a few did." he said proudly. "He was gone for three weeks, just a week before the full moon and two after. James and P- James and I barely ate or slept the entire time." he said with a chuckle. "He's a brilliant wizard, Sarah. He really can take care of himself. This is, after all, round three." Sirius pointed out. "And he has so much more to fight for." Sarah looked up and Sirius smiled.

"I suppose." she said quietly.

"You need to tell him what you want him to know, too." Sirius said, standing from the table. "Just a thought." he walked back out of the room just about the time the coffee was done. Sarah sighed, staring at the spot where Remus had stood when he told her everything earlier that evening. Sarah spent most of the morning sitting in that same spot, thinking hard. She ignored Molly when she came in to start breakfast, just waiting. Remus came in wearing some of the clothes he'd had from before Sarah brought his things to him, a small bag over his shoulder.

"Do you have time for breakfast, dear?" Molly called from the stove. Remus shook his head.

"Could you possibly make it to go?" he asked sheepishly, and Molly grinned.

"Of course!" she said cheerily, so much so Sarah felt a bit like slapping her. Molly wrapped a few things up and gave them to Remus. "Be safe, young man." she said, patting his cheek motherly.

"Naturally." he said, forcing a smile in return. He looked toward Sarah, and noticed the dark circles under her eyes. He swallowed and then turned to make for the door. "I'd better go." he said quietly, walking away. Sarah felt panicked, and jumped from the table so hard her chair toppled over, but she didn't care.

"Wait!" she cried out. Remus stopping him in his tracks, and turned to face her.

"You never let me tell you what I wanted to say." she said, stopping a few feet short of where he stood.

"I didn't know you had anything to say." he said back, rather sadly.

"You think I hate you, but I don't. I couldn't, not ever. You're the most perfect man I've ever met. Sweet, strong, caring. You're an amazing father, so very devoted and in such a short amount of time. It's ridiculous." Remus watched her carefully, as she spoke slowly, thinking her words over. She took a step toward him. "You're selfless, to a damned fault, actually. But you need to know this. I love you, too. And yes, Alex needs you to come home. He needs his Daddy. But _I_ need you too. I never won't need you. I felt like there was a hole blown in my chest without you, and really I still feel that way, granted it's a slightly small one now." she chuckled at her own joke. "But I want you to come home. I want to see if I can be with you again, and please, keep your magic." she smiled. "It'll have to be a slow progression, but please. Let's try to be a family." She stepped closer again. "I can't lose you a second time." She took a breath and stood still, waiting for him to react.

"Really?" he said, his voice full of hope.

"Really." she said, closing the gap between them. She looked up into his eyes and smiled. "I'll always love you, you idiot. I told you that a billion times." She didn't hesitate to wrap her arms around his neck and pull him down to her, kissing him hard. He frozen for a second, clearly shocked, but then relaxed and returned the kiss.

"A billion and one can't hurt." he said, smiling against her lips.

"Come home to me." she said, burying her face in chest. He wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I will."

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><p><strong>Review, my loves! REVIEW! :) Please? Pretty please?<br>**


	11. Chapter 11

**Holy Crap its been a long time! I'm sorry! I hope you're all doing well. Thank you for your continued support!  
>Happy Reading!<br>~Duchess**

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><p>Three weeks in, Sarah realized just how long two months could be. Talking about it before Remus left made it seem like the trip would be so short, a 'back before you know it sort of thing', but it wasn't. Alex had stopped sleeping through the night, often waking up with nightmares and crying for his father, at which point Sirius usually sat up and played with the boy because Sarah had to work and needed her sleep. Sirius was good with the boy, and was able to get him to eat and sleep when he wouldn't for Sarah or Molly.<p>

Sarah, however, had stopped eating more than about once a day. Her thoughts focused more on what could be wrong with Remus as he lived with the pack. If there was any way she thought she could go to him, she'd do it. But Sarah had Alexander, and she had to stay with him. He couldn't lose both his parents, even for just two months. She sighed and pushed her food around in the container Molly had packed for her. She was alone in the back break room of the library, and she couldn't bring herself to eat. Exhaustion took much of her appetite, and any of it that was left was either killed by worry or hearing Alex cry for his 'Daddy'.

And still, she was glad this had happened. It wasn't ideal, it wasn't the way she had wanted it to happen, but once she admitted she was being selfish and needed to see the opportunity before her, she was happy it had taken place. Alex not only knew his father, but he adored him. Much they way she always knew he would, and Remus was a wonderful father for the short time he had gotten the chance to be one. He'd made his everyday a devotion to their son, and it made her happy to know he wanted to do it. Sarah was lost in her thoughts when the door opened and one of the older workers, Greg, came in and smiled as he walked over to the coffee pot.

"Hello." he said, sitting down at the table across from Sarah. She returned the greeting and looked back to her food. She couldn't make herself eat it, no matter how delicious the chicken and vegetables had been. "You seem troubled." He said, as he stirred sugar into his coffee. Sarah liked Greg well enough, though he was a bit nosy. He had shaggy white hair and a matching goatee, with round reading glasses he usually perched oddly on his forehead when he wasn't using them.

"Have a lot on my mind." she said honestly. Greg simply nodded and picked up a magazine from the table and flipped through the pages. He had known Remus when they were together, and Sarah felt a little awkward about it now. What would her co-workers think if they got back together? They had seen how she fell apart without him. Most of them hated him for how he left her, and she had felt it too private (and hard to explain to muggles) to try and justify now.

"Is your family emergency alright now?" He ask, and Sarah had to smile. Always so nosy.

"A bit." she said with a small nod.

"Was it..."

"Remus met Alex, yes." she said, cutting him off. "It's a long story, but they're wonderful together and Alex loves him." Her words were cut and short, but she felt awkward and knew he was judging her.

"That's good then." Greg said, standing up from the table, coffee cup in hand. "Enjoy your lunch, Sarah." he said kindly. She groaned when the door swung shut behind him, hiding her face in her hands. A long two months, indeed.

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><p>Remus felt nauseous as he helped the children prepare for the day. Every one of them was too thin, and he had tried to sneak them extra portions but the weight didn't seem to stick to them. Upon his arrival, the threat on his family had been called off, but he knew that the Order wouldn't let their guard on Sarah or Alex drop so easily. In the pack, the children were Remus' responsibility. Many of the women who had been looking after the pups found this to be wrong and unfair, but Greyback insisted that he wanted them to be tougher, so a man needed to guide them. No one dared go back on what Greyback wanted, so they stepped aside to allow Remus to take their place.<p>

He had his tent full of smaller cots, all in a row. The younger ones, aging from five to fourteen, all stayed with him. He taught those who were magical a few simple spells, but mostly taught basic academic skills like basic math and reading skills. He hated this, hated that they were here. These children broke his heart. He hated to think he would have to leave them here when he went, but hoped that the Order might find a way to save them. Not many of the families of the kids were even looking for them, and in the case of two of the children, the families had given them to the pack rather than deal with having a werewolf for a child.

"Mister Lupin?" a young girl, Melody, tugged at Remus trouser leg. She was six years old, and still so full of hope.

"Yes, love?" he asked gently. He always used a quiet, calm, gentle voice with the kids here.

"Are we going to read today?" She took out a book and held it up. "I've been practicing."

"I thought we might have a bit of a fun day today, but why don't you show me a bit?" Remus said, giving her a smile. She grinned in return and nodded. Remus plucked her off the ground and sat down on his own cot with her on his lap. She opened her book, an old copy of Paddington Bear, and began to sound out the words. Remus smiled as he correct her here and there, but over all she was doing very well. Before he knew it, Melody had stopped reading.

"Melody?"

"You're crying, Mister Lupin." she said, looking hard at his face. Remus touched his cheek.

"So I am." he smiled. "I'm very proud of how well you're reading." he said to her, and she beamed.

"I practice everyday!" she said cheerfully.

"I'm very glad." he told her, setting her down on the grass floor of the tent. "Let's gather the others and play for a bit, alright?" he said, and she nodded, running off to put her book back in the box of supplies he had for the kids.

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><p>The stolen baby is what bothered Remus most of all. It was almost as if Greyback knew he was going to try to steal her, so he never had too many opportunities to she her up close. From what he had seen she was being very well taken care of, and had plenty to eat. Still, it upset him that she was here at all. Some of the children from his tent had told him that her name was Georgia, and that she had stopped crying at night. This was a relief at least, to know she wasn't being harmed and was settling.<p>

The younger kids stayed with a few of the women, and Remus was glad that they were being treated okay for now. The fifteen and up boys were being taught to fight, either magically or hand-to-hand, and the girls to heal in the same fashion. Remus was baffled by this, because he knew some of the girls Greyback had in his charge would be twice the fighter of the boys he had, but he said nothing. More lives safe if they don't get sent to fight also. He had been watching the kids kick around a ball he'd transfigured from a rock when he heard a gruff voice behind him.

"Lupin. Top tent. Now." A man by the name of Colin Hert barked, then stalked off before he could reply. Remus sighed. Nothing good ever came from his summonings. He walked slowly up to the command tent that Greyback and the pack leaders used. Once inside, he couldn't help but hold his breath. He and Greyback were alone.

"Sit, Remus." he said, gesturing to a chair. Remus did as he was told.

"Fenrir." he said, bowing his head respectfully, eluding to the other man's dominance by exposing the back of his neck.

"How are they coming, the children?" He said, pacing a bit and moving to be behind Remus in a menacing fashion. Remus took a deep breath.

"Very well, many are making excellent progress." he replied, trying to ignore the urge to turn around and face the threat behind him.

"Any good fighters?" He asked, his eyes sitting heavily on the back of Remus' neck.

"A few." Remus admitted. Now was not the time to lie.

"And you're working with them to hone in on their skills?" he said with a grin, coming back to stand in front of Remus, his long yellow teeth bore for Remus to see.

"Of course." he said quickly.

"And when can I expect your son to join my ranks?" Greyback said, a look of pure joy on his face. Remus swallowed hard.

"He won't be." He said, attempting to hide all emotion from his voice. Greyback bristled.

"Why is that, Lupin?" he snarled getting dangerously close to Remus' face.

"We have a deal. I'm here, he and Sarah are safe at home. Alex will attend Hogwarts, have a normal life."

"He's not a normal boy, Lupin. He's better than that." Greyback said smoothly, watching the other werewolf for a reaction.

"This is not better, Fenrir." he said quietly. Greyback squinted at Remus and smiled in a way that set fear down in Remus' soul.

"Do as I say, Lupin, or the boy and his pretty mother with both _belong_ to me. Its hard to find a bitch that looks like her. So you do as you're told. Understood?" Remus felt his blood run cold. He knew exactly what Sarah had been threatened with.

"Understood." he replied, standing to leave and bowing once more.

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><p><strong>Reviews mean less wait time between updates! (and they make me happy, and you want that... right?)<br>Show me some love?!  
><strong>


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